who is she?

I write for the still-fragmented parts in me, trying to bring them together. Whoever can read and use any of this, I write for them as well.
― Adrienne Rich, Blood, Bread, and Poetry: Selected Prose, 1979-1985


I’m raw nerves, peeled words, revel in everything that hurts.

I won’t tell you who I am. My words wear me well. I’m better than before.

 

Be well, stay around, much love

 

Beace and Bariis ✌

M.

 

 

 

23 responses to who is she?

  1. You sound like such a lovely person. I am a night owl as well. There is something so sweetly comforting about darkness. I like to be awake when the world is asleep. It makes me feel the most alive.

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  2. Such an elegant introduction of oneself (huge contrast compared to mine) but what really makes you special is your ability to speak to readers on a more personal level. I also found that we share similarities far beyond the skin colour and people.

    P’s. This night owl (me) used to have a Nokia phone (Nokia e72) for years until a year ago. lol.

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  3. Blues Fairy – Author

    Thank you!! 😄 I’m truly touched by your kind words.

    A Nokia e72?! LOL you take the prize. That came out like 2006 right? I upgraded to a Sony Z3, but I still keep my Nokia ASHA nearby.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love your writing and how you boldly and beautifully paint dark experiences.

    I have a blind sister who suffers from synesthesia. I say suffer, because she finds it so distracting, she can hardly think straight. Do you find it a blessing or a curse?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Blues Fairy – Author

      Thank you Christa. I try to find the beauty and wisdom in pain. I guess because your sister is blind, her other senses are overcompensating and are more sharp than they normally would. For her, synaesthesia is all the more concentrated. Perhaps she’d want to channel the excess mental energy into something that expresses her passion and imagination ? I know how it feels to sit still with all that energy boiling within you. My synaesthesia isn’t as pronounced as your sister’s ; it’s rather pleasant (mostly). But what I do struggle with is my extra sensitive sensory system where I take in more data than usual. I have to actively manage my mind in sorting out the thoughts and observations to prevent a burnout

      Liked by 1 person

      • She has been writing, but she uses a Brailer so it’s very slow going and she gets easily distracted. I’m trying to introduce her to technology so that she’ll be able to use a computer in the very near future. Maybe if she can write more quickly she’ll be less likely to veer off course and get frustrated. Thanks so much for answering my questions. Most people I’ve talked to say it doesn’t bother them, but she seems very distressed by it so I always seek advice from other people at the same condition. Thanks again and I Look forward to your blog posts.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Blues Fairy – Author

        What type of synaesthesia does she have?It might be that writing isn’t the best channel seeing that she gets easily distracted. That means it’s not her strength. She needs to find something she really loves. And I must say, you’re an amazing sister! It’s absolutely heartwarming to see such goodness in a world that makes you forget goodness ever existed. I wish I had a sister like you ❤

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      • Thanks so much! I try to be a good sister. I’m the oldest and I don’t have any kids, so I’m grateful I have time to help her. Her synaesthesia is all over the spectrum. She really loves writing and has a wild imagination. I don’t know what else she could do to exercise her creativity. She used to play piano, but has given that up. We’ll keep working on it and figure it out 🙂 Thanks for the advice.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Safia

    You probably get this a lot but I’m speechless! I feel like no matter what compliment I try to give you, it isn’t worthy of I the emotions you have evoked in me today when I read some of you’re post. First and foremost, I want to thank you. You’re probably confused as to why so let me back up to this morning. So my friend texted your Sahan Journal “11 types of Somali women…” And I feel in love and was thirsty for more witty, funny post but what I found truly shocked me. I was expecting maybe to Facebook or Instagram stalk you and to go about my day about instead I came across your blog and I keep coming back for more. I am a fan. I also feel like no matter what’s Imma sound like a creep but swear I am not! (Of course that what I creep would say). Before I sound more creepier, I just want to reiterate you’re talent has not been overlooked!!!

    Ps: I never in my whole 21 years of life leave comments on a comment section and even though my comments is me ramabling( I do this in real life too) I just want to tell you how much of a beautiful writer. I don’t like making judgements on people’s life but some of the thought I have read are so authentic that there’s no way faking it. Also it’s 4:00am CDT here and unlike you I am NOT night owl( excuse as to why my grammar and spelling might be off)

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    • Blues Fairy – Author

      Wow. I’m so stunned, I had to read that 3 times. No, I don’t get this a lot and I’m truly honoured that my writings evoked emotion in you. It’s painful writing in a vulnerable way but it’s rewarding to see that it’s paid off in terms of connection. You’re not a creep, you keep saying that, you’re not. You’re so kind to reach out to me. You can add me on FB btw, my username’s Em Early

      Much love xx

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      • Safia

        Omg! I sound so ignorant with all of my grammatical errors! I wrote it on my phone and now it made me sound like an idiot! Yaay! Umm sorry but I am not on any social media outlets! However we can go old school and email?

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  6. theres a brother i have detailed discussions with about politics and philosophy and brought you up and praised you numeracley tho he vouched you weren’t a feminist so perhaps i mistook you last week, Im really sorry for that message and its literally amazing that brother mentioned your name. His facebook is ibn khaldun, he mentioned you guys use to speak alot and that you had some issues growing up so now i feel even more bad of how i addressed you, tho my views remain stagnant and cemented there’s was always a better way to give advice or just leave you alone, I fear that you will approach me on THAT day and demand when no one can afford anything (good-deeds), Your blog is great, the brother said your into ibn tayymiah and ibn qayyims books and that you knew arabi even before he mentioned you. Me and the brother value online discussions so he mentioned you and sent me your blog i recognized you photo and then i was gutted so here i am apologizing, ibn khaldum will vouch for me that what im saying is true, its like a chance from Allah to as for forgiveness i guess …….

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    • Blues Fairy – Author

      Firstly, although we’re no longer on speaking terms, I have nothing but good to say about him and his exceptionally good manners is what I associate him with.

      Secondly, I AM a feminist. I wasn’t sure on my understanding of feminism and had rejected a school of thought of it. But now I am a feminist with conviction, and that’s that.

      Thirdly, I forgive you only on two conditions, and if you don’t agree on those conditions then wallaahi I’ll leave you to Allaah.

      The two conditions are : that you deal with your intellectual arrogance that caused you to acknowledge your wrongs and see me as a person only after you realized I knew more than you ( though I never mentioned it, because my deen is between Allaah and me.) . Ask Allaah to make you see it, and cure it.

      The second condition is that you NEVER contact me again; don’t read my blog, don’t reply to this comment, don’t talk about me with Ibn Khaldun or anyone else. Erase me from your memory. And take me as a lesson from Allaah.

      الله يهديك و يصلح لك أعمالك

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  7. aurora

    Wow. Your blog deserves a standing ovation. It is a pure JOY to read. You are a superb amazing stellar inspiring thoughtful analytical writer. Seriously, you should consider publishing ….. It does seem far-fetched, but somewhere out there in the world, there actually are sensitive and thoughtful people reading your blog who actually understand you…
    I am also an infj (although i find labels counterproductive sometimes, since identification -or self-identification- sometimes brings unconscious limitations in thinking/behaving and plants unconscious patterns in thought/behavior; thereby reinforcing certain (usually the most attractive or desirable) thoughts/behaviors). However, I do find that my tendencies lean towards infj. Perhaps that is why I feel such an affinity towards your writing.
    I am also a female who grew up in a muslim household; although due to some facets of islam and religion in general, I found myself dissociated from religion around 19. But maybe you have different experiences with religion. At the moment, I consider myself spiritual (for all intensive labeling purposes, if that even matters). For a long time I was agnostic; I was at a point in my life where I questioned my subjectivity, let alone everyone else’s. But now I have faith in a higher force, in the universe, in life. And in the end, isn’t that really all that matters? Not the details of this or that religion, the details of this ritual or that etc etc? Anyway I am rambling….
    I feel like reading your blog is reading pages of my soul. That you actually “get me”. And to be honest, I have never really felt this way towards even the closest friends of my life. Wish you well, and please keep writing. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Blues Fairy – Author

      I’m usually not one to be lost for words – this blog is a proof of that – but your comment made me speechless. I honestly can’t process the overwhelming honour and privilege you conferred upon me. But thank you, thank you for validating my words and affirming that they aren’t lost in the ether of the interwebs.

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  8. aurora

    Yes, your words are not lost in the chaos of this world … and most of the time it feels like chaos, right? The only time I am truly happy is when I am home alone, reading thinking writing in my room, all alone. The second I leave my house, I am bombarded by sights, people, noises, smells, yelling, pushing, shoving, pettiness, ugliness, ignorance, violence etc, in short i feel claustrophobic, literally suffocating under the weight of chaos. But like someone once said to me, it only looks like chaos from where we are standing. Maybe from above, where God is, it doesnt look like chaos.
    But anyway, reading your writing helps, because it re-affirms my belief that even though life “appears” to look like chaos on the superficial level, that underneath it all, there is more to life than what meets the eye, that life is indeed worth living. I am happy that people like you exist, because as you know, it is truly rare to find sensitive, thoughtful, insightful people who hunger for wisdom and meaning. I think people like us became disappointed after searching for other “old souls”. Tired of feeling like outsiders, we became self-sufficient, independent. But whenever I find another “old soul” I am happy again … it reminds me that there are indeed more “old souls” out there, and when two of us meet, we can both share the wonders of this life together.

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