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You can’t claim to love and worship Allaah and then feel the need to distort His words to mean something else or to put forth your own explanation for what He did/does or said. That’s assuming He’s not a living God, that He’s not clear, that His words are lacking, that He doesn’t get His creation. And that’s trying to bridge the gap between the known and unknown through your rationale, and not trust. You’re trying to conquer the Ghayb (unseen) like Pharaoh tried to God ‘for himself’.

And Pharaoh said, “O eminent ones, I have not known you to have a god other than me. Then ignite for me, O Haman, [a fire] upon the clay and make for me a tower that I may look at the God of Moses. And indeed, I do think he is among the liars.”

[al-Qasas:38]

What’s prompting you to put in explanations is a reaction to something ; either invalidation from others or a doubt within you that you can’t reconcile. But you should know the effects of your actions ;

Tawheed is the sole reason for Islaam, and any revealed religion before it. Not dichotomies or hegemonies, not rituals, not cause and effect. The sole purpose is to return back to basics; the rest follows naturally as it’s encoded in our psyche. But the starting point has been changed and obscured, and that changes the course of action completely and leads away from Allaah.

Only Allaah knows what leads to Him. We can’t make that call or guesstimate because we can’t even comprehend His being and essence. So we have nothing else but His words, signs and intuition to go on. That’s the task, the test; to commit to what’s intangible. To walk a line you can’t see, but only feel.

The more you intellectualize and try to solve your cognitive dissonance in the same realm they arose, the more distant you become because guidance is felt, eemaan is felt. Cognitive dissonance means there’s something you’re believing that is wrong. Period. It’s impossible to have cognitive dissonance regarding the truth because it’s seamless and doesn’t contradict itself. So instead of defending or protecting what you think is Allaah, release the concepts and trust that Allaah is above duality and ask Him to guide your mind. Seek the Truth and not a concept. Trust that Allaah is al-Haqq and that you’ll find Him wherever the truth is. That’s the leap of faith.

Tawheed means to unify, to make one. It’s to transcend duality because Allaah is One, and it’s His creation that is dual. That’s why you won’t find a contradicting side to Him, and why there is no limitation to Him.

وَمِن كُلِّ شَىْءٍ خَلَقْنَا زَوْجَيْنِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

And of everything We created [contrasting and complimentary] pairs that you may remember [the uniqueness of Allaah] and take admonition [therefrom].

[ad-Daariyaat:49]

The truth breaks the hypnosis of illusions

Surrendering to Allaah entails that you refuse to surrender or succumb to any other reality, construct or condition.

Hopelessness is caused by a subtle shirk of attributing effect to a confounding circumstance, instead of Allaah.

يَا بَنِيَّ اذْهَبُوا فَتَحَسَّسُوا مِن يُوسُفَ وَأَخِيهِ وَلَا تَيْأَسُوا مِن رَّوْحِ اللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِن رَّوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ

O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.”

[Yusuf:87]

I affirm the wahdaaniyya (وحدانية) of Allaah in the depths of my existential depression and the threatening darkness around me. I ask Allaah to make firm in my heart the certainty that divine relief is coming.

The lies I tread, the lines that thread through the eyes

Tawheed (توحيد) is the ultimate alignment with God source, the surrendering of free will which essentially is a creative resistance, a breakaway from the divine will. Something that we were gifted with to test us whether we’d find our way back or we’d be convinced by the original rogue Agent.

It’s to come back full circle and hand in the keys, choosing to stand by instead of being on the playground of illusions. It’s to know that you can’t ever see through the truth even though it’s plain and simple because you’re not equipped to see and understand Allaah’s essence like that. Illusions are super easy to see through and that’s why they are always hidden in plain sight, overly complicated to give off the impression of divinity, of omnipotence. It’s predicated on making you doubt yourself so you can project your consciousness onto it, seemingly animating the illusion. You’re believing your own lies.

But Allaah has given you the keys to the house, the car, full transparency. You’re actively encouraged to look for inconsistencies if you can find any. He’s subtly teaching you how to see through illusions, don’t you get it? By giving you full autonomy and permission to question and explore Him or your perception of Him, He’s dispersing the clouds of mystique and aloofness that demonic forces shroud illusions in.

You can’t see through the truth because there is no end to it. There’s nothing that takes over it. It’s abundant and limitless.Because it’s an extension of Allaah. Illusions however use a fragment of the truth, eviscerate the essence of it which is love, fill it with fear and ego, and present it as Truth. It can be a kind word, charity, even claims of being religious. Virtue signalling. But it’s anything but. It’s a ruse. It’s a scam. It’s to wear something you don’t embody. It’s to appear in a way solely for the purpose of being upheld in people’s positive projections on you.

Illusions are words. Think about it. If people were mute and deaf , how would they show off? How would they get their fix if they can’t hear what people are saying about them? How would they convey anything other than their actions?

And that’s another reason Iblees hates Adam. Iblees knew the objects but Adam was given the essence of their names. Iblees thought that because he’s seen what his peers on earth haven’t seen or known, that that endowed him with grandeur. Adam exposed him without meaning to (no pun intended!). Iblees was triggered because he realized if the angels themselves were dumbfounded, he could never shine. To him, the angels were on the top of the chain, the elite. He thought the divine was an aristocracy. To see them surrender and readily admit their blunder in favour of Adam enraged him. I guess he eventually wanted to be put on a pedestal by the angels. He thought he was on the comeup. Adam shatters his ladder of illusions and there’s no going back from that.

Though Adam knew the meanings and names, he didn’t know the purpose. He only learnt of the purpose when he was misled by Iblees beating him to it by telling him what he can’t contest or discern anyway. That’s what iblees excels in btw. To find the piece of information you don’t know and lay claims to it before you can challenge him. And then instill fear or doubt in you so that you don’t dare explore it. He’s smart, gotto give him that. But intelligence means nothing really. Wisdom does. Wisdom to know there’s always something you’re not aware of.

New waves

Allaah is an active listener. He’s present and engaged with whatever you share with Him, even if it’s not articulate or formal. He meets you where you are and aims to connect and not assert. To really get to know Him you have to engage with Him outside the ego, that is beyond your assumptions. Don’t project on Him your limited understanding and hold space in your heart in the most precarious circumstance where your negative beliefs make you run for the hills, in order to usher in a true understanding of why Allaah wills for certain things to happen. Seek Him in your moments of panic, fear, anger, frustration and ask Him to revise your perception and the understanding that is making you feel powerless or hopeless. Don’t take your reality for granted because that’s the same reality that you force on Him because it all boils down to the divine will which created everything. If you say a certain reality is fixed and it is what it is, then you have to complete that trajectory of thought by answering this: why would Allaah author a reality that is limiting and serves the corrupt? That’s not to negate that we live in a corrupt world but it’s because we’ve resigned to the reality propagated through intense fear to lock us in to these mental traps like cattle. When we think those running things are in power when really they are just occupying the void of us abandoning our true power, we’re making mental jumps that land us in the wrong territory. We base our analysis of the world on false equivalents and fallacies taught to us by the corrupt structures.

So are you sure this is what Allaah wants for you? Anything that makes you feel drained, anxious, fearful, powerless, insecure, frustrated, etc., is a clear sign that your soul is rejecting beliefs and a reality that is false!!

Life as He intended it is absolutely meant to be balanced and harmonious and that’s your trail to find your way out of the maze of mentalism.

The Prophet (salAllahu calayhi wa sallam) said

Allaah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

(Bukhari)

Silence breaks

Where has the empathy of this ummah disappeared to? A mind that tries to control emaan creates a hardened heart far from Allaah. The beauty of a soul lies in the character. Good character comes from an unprotected heart, a person who’s submitted in vulnerability, trusting His justice, and accepting their own fallability. Allaah is not in need of minds full of memorized verses and studied pages. Allaah is not impressed by how well you walk without a wobble. He created you with that vulnerability. He knows the weakness that hides behind that facade. He created you to live through that weakness, not bypass it. What hasn’t permeated the heart won’t illuminate your grave.

On That Day, you won’t remember the books, the halaqaat, the sunnan you used to pray, the principles you used to stick to intellectually. On That Day, everything that had been relegated to the shadows will come forth. Everything you’ve been suppressing will stand before you. And because you spent all your life resisting who you were, shaytaan had a field life in running through that unattended backdoor. The backdoor you were ashamed of. Instead of integrating all of you, you will meet your fragmentations on that Day while you never thought you would. But you see, nothing is really gone just because you hide it or deny it. And as long as the person Allaah knows you to be in the dead of the night is different from the person you’re trying to be, there can’t be no inaabah. There can’t be no actualization of Tawheed when you’re too focused on not making a mistake to submit to Him. Not wanting to make a mistake is different from the state of an-nafs allawwaamah ; the self reproaching nafs. Not wanting to make a mistake is rooted in a quest for divinity, a rejection of your humanity, a subtle form of arrogance. It’s the ego that thinks piety is about how it makes YOU look as opposed to how it makes you feel. As if entering Jannah is through credit scores.

Iblees didn’t want to make mistakes. He was very perfectionistic. But the angels, when Allaah asked them what they thought about the creation of humans, made a judgement that proved to fall short of the reality. They could only assess based on what they knew so that’s what they sincerely did. And when Allaah showed them the bigger reality, they submitted to that at once. They didn’t defend their position or assumptions. But Iblees, his whole piety was based on the belief that he earned his rights to be elevated. He earned his rights to lead the campaign with the angels to break up the warring jinn factions on earth. He believed himself to be inherently favourable.

And when the light came to separate him from his assumptions, he clung to it for dear life, refusing to entertain anything else.

Allaah will bring you to your knees one way or another. Not to humiliate you but to break the shell that keeps you in the dark.

Trust Him. Trust Him. Trust Him. Trust that what you were tried with was to bring you closer to your true self because it’s only through the true self that you can have muraaqaba with Him. Somethings are beyond the scope of words. Somethings are just felt. If the connection to Allaah makes you feel overwhelmingly guilty or preoccupied with your shortcomings or fearful of punishment, know that there’s something amiss. Fear should be the boundaries that alert you when you’re going out of alignment. It shouldn’t be the default state. How will you love Him, have awe of Him, reflect on the universe He created and all the signs He left for you if you’re suspended in terror? If your heart is constantly in knots?

مَا يَفْعَلُ اللَّهُ بِعَذَابِكُمْ إِنْ شَكَرْتُمْ وَآمَنْتُمْ ۚ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ شَاكِرًا عَلِيمًا

Why should Allaah punish you if you were grateful and have believed in Him. And Allaah is Ever All­-Appreciative (of good), All­-Knowing.

(An-Nisaa :147)

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