Seek harmony

Dare to discover what you contributed to your suffering. It’s difficult because it’d seem like it was all your fault. But it’s actually the opposite. You’re taking back your power by doing what is in your control. You can only be accountable for what you can control. And though your oversight or self-neglect or self-denial or self-hate isn’t grounds for bad things happening to you, it shows you how you took the first jab at yourself. The external situation is just amplifying your self sabotage. And that’s no small matter either. Just because it’s yourself you’re oppressing doesn’t make it any less serious than if someone else did the very thing you’re doing to yourself, or if you did that to someone else.

So be brave and face your wrongs against yourself. It takes courage because you have to revisit what originally made you turn against yourself, and that’s a lot of uncertainty and fear and anger. Don’t settle for pathology. Believe in abundance. Ask Allaah to provide you what you sought in others but weren’t given. Don’t make the cracks you fell through a grave, but make it a rainforest and let the trees you plant carry you to the surface. Leave the rock bottom better than you found it. Do your heart better than what those who let you down did.

Manufacture your own hope. This is a chance for boundless love and imagination, now that you’re not limited to people who don’t see you or refuse to feel you. Good riddance. Now gather yourself back together and ask Allaah to rain down love and abundance on you. And rectify the faulty and toxic mindsets that led you to and left you in a loveless and merciless place.

May you be forgiven for the injustices you inflicted on yourself, and may you be forgiven for being an apathetic bystander as others did you wrong. Aamin.


The truth is not a resistance of what is. It’s not a feeling of doubt that creeps up on you regarding something you’re actively involved in. It’s a new tab that shows you a different, more evolved reality than the one you’re currently focused on. And then it’s up to you to choose which path you want to continue down. But it’s always clear and distinct, so don’t be fooled into doubting what you know or letting fear avert you from what you gravitate towards.

Pang of life

Me to me: why does it hurt when I give attention to my feelings?

Me to me : because you’re finally feeling parts of you that you used to ignore

Me: oh

Me: yup

Me to me: Is it worth it? Things seemed easier when I used to dissociate

Me to me : dissociating is like being homeless because you don’t want to deal with the possibility of being woken up by the sound of the fire alarm and the ensuing panic and chaos. Feeling is like learning to find the calm in every storm so that you don’t have avoid life and what naturally comes with it.

Me to me: you’re so wise

Me to me : thank the trauma

Me to trauma : thank you trauma

Trauma to me: don’t thank me, thank Allaah

Me to Allaah : thank You. Thank You for not giving up on me

Hermetically sealed safe space

May Allaah grant you the ability to see yourself the way He intended for you to see yourself : with love.

Because gratitude to Allaah remains incomplete when it’s from a self-erasing and self-hating and self-harming individual.

Allaah created you, your energy, the immense beauty that is blocked from your vision because of a demonic self-loathing. Anything demonic is whatever is fragmented and isolated from the cosmic light and abundance Allaah emanates and created in the world. And that’s what iblees intends : to fragment you so you could feel as miserable as he does. Although he has so much control and influence and near immortality, he’s a black hole of misery.

Energy can’t be procured through possession. It’s a divine gift. One that he’ll never have, so his entire strategy is to lure you away from the cohesiveness and wholeness you were created in and for. You don’t build wholeness. You remove whatever blocks your innate wholeness. Retrace your steps. Go back to how you were as a child. Simplify. Be still. Receive. Ask and be vulnerable with Allaah. Love.

Antemortem sonata

Self-love is what heals you on this journey
It’s what defies all odds
It’s what invites hope
It’s what transmutes the negativity in the world
It’s what maintains inner balance
It’s the space you retreat to from the hustle and bustle of the world
It’s what nurtures you in the void
It’s what guides your growth, ever so gently

It’s what sharpens the sword of your truth
It’s what polishes your heart, so abandoned
It’s what reminds you of why you’re toiling on this journey when you’re on the cusp of giving up
It’s your inherent worth, reimbursed for your journey to actualizing the self
It’s the blood that carries the nutrients and removes the toxins from your being

And just like the cardiovascular system is intricately irreplaceable, nothing can be done for the one who trashes their internal system for painful blood transfusions on the weekly.

All your energy goes towards making it to the blood transfusion , and one of these days you’ll die on your way there. Ya squandered a life because of lies you thought you were too insignificant to challenge.


Aight, keep playing yourself like a violin and see if anyone will hear your despondent symphonies while you await burial .

love is an act of creativity

Self love is to be ok by yourself, to not be dependent on anything or anyone for your stability
If you were to be left alone in the middle of nowhere, you’d be ok because you never rested on anyone’s shore

that’s for sure
to go anywhere on your own and be fine

because you’re not an anchor to any ship, or the canopy to anyone’s dwelling

if the people you love would leave, you’d survive 

dive deep in your richness

you’re the mountain that holds the earth

and it’s from there that you give unconditional love, radical spontaneous outrageously tender love. Pure, untainted, untethered. No watermarks, no restrictions, like the nature that gives so freely of its wisdom and fruits.
it’s from there that you seek love, not as an escape but an adventure of raindrops forming a river, travelling through caverns and seasons

You gain everything when you lose everything. Because when you’re holding on to something, you let go of a part of yourself. When you cling to someone you suffocate yourself. When you’re chasing something it’s because you’re running away from yourself.
The kicker is, no matter how fast or far you run you can’t shake off your shadow. The fears you avoid aren’t confined to this plane of time and space. They’ll hover about and around you wherever you go and you’ll live life like a fugitive.
How can you be attached to someone, this elusive fantasy that a man will bring you a steady stream of wholesome love and good feelings when you can’t even make your own highs last, no matter how you try? 

Holding on to a feeling is like grabbing water. Instead, become the feeling and the ebb and tide won’t disturb you because you’re not the waves, you’re the entire ocean. You don’t have to remain at the shore at all times to be a complete ocean. During floods and storms – you’re still the ocean.
let go, trust me. let go and let through the ocean within you. you won’t drown. Move to your own rhythm and the whole universe moves in tandem with you.

I want to embody all the words I want to share with the world. I want to be like nature, rejuvenating the onlooker, inspiring the restless wanderer. I want to grow and grow until I bloom into an ecosystem, a reminder of the universal, defiant of corrupt times.

Always move towards wholeness. A love that requires you to be out of balance to get is not a love that’s going to last. A tree is supported by the roots, not the branches

A soulmate is an outer representative of your inner self

Patience gives your heart more room for appreciation. It slows down the whirlwind that is the ego by grounding you, and says

’ look. the sky’ and you discover deeper hues to the blue colour you used to take for granted. Suddenly, new dimensions of the world open up to you.

I’m betting all my chips on you. Yeah, it’s a long shot but I’ve been target practicing on this bugaboo. Either you’ll get to me or I’ll die in crossfire, blood feud.


It’s only just a dream

I vow to stay with me.

I vow to be committed to my truth, the truth, every moment.

vow to seek clarity before validation

to give before I demand

love before security

the potential before the practical
In a world that floods my mind, clogs my senses, uproots my stability, vandalizes my intuition

I have to fight to stay afloat, with nothing but the present in my arsenal

So, I vow to calm my racing heart out in the battlefields

I vow to stay open, even as the ricochet of people’s facades spray my face.

I vow to never give up on hope no matter how gloomy things get

I vow to not let the status quo dictate the perimeters of my dreams

I vow to keep coming back to square one, to pore over the universe with each discovery that broadens my horizons and deepens the caverns of my soul.

and I vow to never stop looking for you.

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