Etched into my soul you are 

When she does not find love, she may find poetry. Because she does not act, she observes, she feels, she records; a color, a smile awakens profound echoes within her; her destiny is outside her, scattered in cities already built, on the faces of men already marked by life, she makes contact, she relishes with passion and yet in a manner more detached, more free, than that of a young man. Being poorly integrated in the universe of humanity and hardly able to adapt herself therein, she, like the child, is able to see it objectively; instead of being interested solely in her grasp on things, she looks for their significance; she catches their special outlines, their unexpected metamorphoses. She rarely feels a bold creativeness, and usually she lacks the technique of self-expression; but in her conversation, her letters, her literary essays, her sketches, she manifests an original sensitivity. The young girl throws herself into things with ardor, because she is not yet deprived of her transcendence; and the fact that she accomplishes nothing, that she is nothing, will make her impulses only the more passionate. Empty and unlimited, she seeks from within her nothingness to attain all.


— Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex

how to: make a difference

Malcolm X didn’t become the Malcolm X we know just because of his political rebellion or his bravado (or his fine self 😉 ) . He became a permanent fixture in our history because he stood for his beliefs when people hated it. He suffered for his beliefs when people attacked him for it. He gave up his freedom for his beliefs when he was threatened with imprisonment.

Ibn Taymiyya didn’t become the Ibn Taymiyya we so often reference today just because he was a prolific writer. He became ‘Shaykhul Islaam’ because of the lengths he went for the knowledge he acquired. He internalized the knowledge so much so that it became fused with every iota of his being. And any threat to his principles, he’d lay out his body to be punished instead.

Albert Einstein wasn’t born into the legacy he’s left’. He went against the tide of his time and had to rely on little more than his hunch in developing the theory of relativity, and contributing largely to quantum theory and revolutionizing modern physics. His theories were controversial at times. And because he chose to believe in his hunches more than the established science at the time, he took us to new planes.

These people are seared into the collective memory of humanity because they created their own paths in life, and expanded our minds into new, previously un-imagined dimensions.
When you want to bring your imagination into this world, be it a new make-up technique or a political paradigm shift, you’re birthing something absolutely unique that humanity has never experienced before. You are required to build the path you’re going to take and that is going to be an immense undertaking, a great spiritual struggle. You won’t have the advantage of being well-liked or the protection of the herd or the security you get from walking a path that has already been paved and trodden. You’ll have to wing it. Alone.

أَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوا أَن يَقُولُوا آمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ
                                 وَلَقَدْ فَتَنَّا الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ فَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ صَدَقُوا وَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ الْكَاذِبِينَ

Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.

And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allâh will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allâh knows all that before putting them to test). 

(Al-‘Ankabut 29:2-3)

The Art of Life

People say: “Mulki, your writing is so deep and beautiful. You’re so talented.”

Nah b, I aint talented. I’m damaged, scarred, burnt. See how I can make these words grow fingers and caress your mind, how they can stir up emotions in you that you didn’t even know existed, how these words you’ve known for years take on a new form, seep through to forgotten memories you’d rather not revisit?

Tragedies carved out deep tracks in my soul, that’s how. A sculpture is marvelled at but you don’t notice the countless hours it took to break, disfigure, chip away at the original block of stone with a sharp chisel.

Nah darling, I’m not talented. I mean, I’m talented, just not in that way. I’m talented in messing up. In keeping people out. In seeming ice cold and indifferent. In figuring people out way before they even notice me, to gain leverage. I don’t watch movies. Because I can guess the ending by the title. It’s like I have an x-ray vision, and I’m dying from the radiation.

The ink with which I write is drawn from a well that runs way deep within me. It’s my soul’s blood.

Be careful with what you wish for.

I asked Allaah for patience. He gave me hardships.
I asked Him for love. I got people who hurt and betrayed me.
I asked Him for wisdom. I got pain on my platter.
I asked Him to make me a writer. I went through hell, and at the end of it I was told
” Now that you’ve stood for something, now that you’ve stood up to live, you may sit down to write.”

And you see, when I write, I don’t think first and write second. I don’t write at will. I’m merely a medium through which my emotions manifest themselves when they wish to do so. So I sit at my laptop, close my eyes to see, to hear the words in my mind that want out. Then I leak ,I bleed, I emit the words onto the keyboard. It’s like I’m playing a melody on a piano, one I learnt by heart in my childhood and now play without paying mind to the sheet. My fingers know what I don’t ; as they dance and pause and waltz across the keyboard, I don’t have a direct connection to what’s being communicated until the buzzing in my chest ,the knocking,the trouncing ceases.

It’s no child’s play.

But oddly, now that the scars have faded, the wound healed, I would not want to live in any other way. I’d rather live on the precipice of life, my life being one long cliffhanger that leaves deep gashes to the palms of my hands in my frantic efforts to hang on to life. I’d rather live in pain to court passion, as opposed to having a convenient, linear life.

You can’t leave a mark on this world without incurring scars of your own.

Call me when you’ve made up your mind

I’ve developed a taste for Earl Grey tea with cardamom and loads of sugar. Go Somali or go home. My tongue is getting blisters. The truth can’t be guzzled, just like this hot tea.

So.

Men are hazy nowadays. Like a thin fog that has you squinting to ascertain whether it’s really fog or if your vision is a tad blurry. They say that they are commitment-averse. They say, don’t be clingy, relax, wait around. Don’t scare him off. The fuck? I want a man who’s strong enough to stomach the truth, resilient enough to stand in his own resolutions come hell or high water, empathetic enough to meet conflict with understanding. I don’t want a scaredy cat that blames his issues on people. That’s a spineless wuss.

Which is why I’ll stay single for a very long time.

But that’s the thing; why do people give condolences to someone for their singlehood? Are people so miserable in their relationships and marriages that they find the very idea of being on their own too terrifying to even contemplate? Don’t people see that they’ll forever be single in their minds? Do people think a relationship is a portal that absolves one of worries and anxieties once walked through? It’s such persistent fantasies that break relationships because one can’t see one’s spouse as they are because of the insistence of living up to an idealistic image far removed from the realm of human nature. If a relationship is the holy grail of human condition, then why do people grow apart, get divorced, end up hating one another?
You’ll always be left with who you are. And if you loathe your own company, why would someone else thrive in it?

So. Unless I can have a crazy passionate love where I can explore the absolute depth and breadth of my – and his– emotions, no matter how painful or uncomfortable, then spare me the headache. Spare me every inauthentic fella who thinks vulnerability is weakness, whilst he pisses himself at the mere mention of love, and can’t assert his true self for shit.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

― Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Letters on : Love

Marianne Williamson

People hear you on the level you speak to them from. Speak from your heart, and they will hear with theirs.


 

We must relinquish our passive observation of the world outside; we can open the door to the world we want. In understanding ourselves, we come to understand the world. In allowing ourselves to heal, we become the healers of the world. In praying for peace, we become bringers of peace. Thus we actualize the power within us to remedy the psychic wounds of humanity.


We can’t look to the world to restore our worth; we’re here to restore our worth to the world. The world outside us can reflect our glory, but it cannot create it. It cannot crown us. Only God can crown us, and he already has.


In every community, there is work to be done.
In every nation, there are wounds to heal.
In every heart, there is the power to do it.


 

Spiritual progress is like a detoxification.


 

Until we have met the monsters in ourselves, we keep trying to slay them in the outer world. And we find that we cannot. For all darkness in the world stems from darkness in the heart. And it is there that we must do our work.


 

Do what you love.
Do what makes your heart sing.
And NEVER do it for the money,
Go to work to spread joy.


 

There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children.


 

And no one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves.


 

Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. If we’re frantic, life will be frantic. If we’re peaceful, life will be peaceful. And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace.


 

Available people are the ones who are dangerous, because they confront us with the possibility of real intimacy.


 

Only write from your own passion, your own truth. That’s the only thing you really know about, and anything else leads you away from the pulse.


 

Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor. Perhaps, in a way, that’s where humanity is now: about to discover we’re not as smart as we thought we were, will be forced by life to surrender our attacks and defenses which avail us of nothing, and finally break through into the collective beauty of who we really are.


 

The only way to gain power in a world that is moving too fast is to learn to slow down. And the only way to spread one’s influence wide to learn how to go deep. The world we want for ourselves and our children will not emerge from electronic speed but rather from a spiritual stillness that takes root in our souls. Then, and only then, will we create a world that reflects the heart instead of shattering it.


 

Our self-perception determines our behavior. If we think we’re small, limited, inadequate creatures, then we tend to behave that way, and the energy we radiate reflects those thoughts no matter what we do. If we think we’re magnificent creatures with an infinite abundance of love and power to give, then we tend to behave that way. Once again, the energy around us reflects our state of awareness.


 

Love is a hero’s journey, and the hero’s journey is a noble but difficult path.


 

You playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so others won’t feel insecure around you. As you let your own light shine, you indirectly give others permission to do the same.


 

Thought is Cause; experience is Effect. If you don’t like the effects in your life, you have to change the nature of your thinking.


 

In our ability to think about something differently lies the power to make it different.


 

God has given you your identity, and that cannot be taken away.
God has imbued you with infinite potential, and that cannot be taken away.
God has provided you with the opportunity to change your thinking in an instant, and that cannot be taken away.
God has given you the capacity to love, and that cannot be taken away.
God has entrusted you with the power to live in the light of His abundance in any moment, and that cannot be taken away.


 

The moment that our real “issues” are exposed is simply when two people have the opportunity to go deeper, to explore further, to heal faster, to communicate more sincerely, to be more honest, and to love more truly.


 

quaintrelle

I seem like a twinkling star

But I’m a ball of raging fire, consuming myself from within

Floating in my own galaxy, a million light-years away

I burn too ferociously to be near others

My star is a luminous giant , and I feel that I won’t have a long life

Because of how quickly I’m growing

Discovering timeless secrets written in the constellations

The distance makes me appear admirable 

Don’t come near me unless you’re the Phoenix

Unless your life’s purpose is to be set alight

In which case, let me create galaxies in the palm of your hand, name the stars in your eyes after legends

I’ll warm you

Or I’ll burn you

But there’s no lie in my fire

 

Let’s go out in a blaze of passion

We’ll be buried in shrouds of our love

And we’ll stand the test of time

image

The shape of your flame

planee

Don’t ask yourself what Somalia needs. I know your parents hold you up to high expectations, and that you feel compelled to become Somalia’s Gandhi or MLK. I know that you feel confused over your true identity and that you might feel a need to solidify your somalinimo by contributing something.

What Somalia – and the world in general- needs is for you to address your inner pain that you’ve been suppressing ever since you discovered that it’s a nuisance. Don’t ask what Somalia needs. Ask yourself what sparks your passion. What makes you lose track of time. Where your mind goes when daydreaming. Somalia needs the true you, the authentic you, the vulnerable you. The you that dares to stand in her scarred soul and do so without budging for the criticism of the nay-sayers. The you that has endured heart breaks and betrayal and still looks for the good in people. The you that braves the unknown abyss within.

Our innate gifts lie buried beneath the rubble of facades and expectations. Dig into yourself and you’ll find everything you need in life. You don’t need to find your path, your career, or your legacy – you already are those things.
Passion is a force beyond our comprehension. It can’t be forged nor can it be forced. It’s an intricate part of our being, just like our height or eye colour is an intricate part of our body. It doesn’t need fixing or adjusting. It just needs to be unblocked; unblocked by your fears, and perfectionism, and what-ifs, and shoulds. You need to declutter others projections,perceptions,predictions and pessimism that have accumulated within you over the years, and give your soul space to grow a garden.

Martin Luther King Jr., and Gandhi- they didn’t envision, at the onset, that they’d achieve what they did. They just did what they were burning for and that fire of passion purified them and shaped them into their legacies. They didn’t see it coming. But it was within them, just like a tiny seedling that grows into a giant sequoia tree; let yourself grow into you, and stop forcing yourself to become what you’re not!

You have within you stories,songs,words,dreams that throughout the history of mankind have ever only existed in your mind, and should you go to the grave with those still within you then you’ve truly wasted your life. Don’t allow people to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. You can’t influence a world you’re trying to fit into. Anyone who makes you feel weird or less-than is trying to feel better by making you feel worse. They are essentially saying: ‘You have to be everything I want you to be, and do anything I wish for or else I won’t approve of you.’
And because you crave that approval, you become an emotional slave. Self-acceptance is emancipation. Vulnerability is a raging fire. Set yourself on fire and light up the darknesses in this world.

Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run the best contribution we can make to our fellow men. … One person with indigenous inner strength exercises a great calming effect on panic among people around him. This is what our society needs — not new ideas and inventions; important as these are, and not geniuses and supermen, but persons who can “be”, that is, persons who have a center of strength within themselves.

— Rollo May (Man’s Search for Himself)

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