True love never compensates

Beware of love bombing. Beware of the swiftness with which the love-starved wounds you’ve tucked away from your consciousness will shackle you to anyone who throws you love crumbs. Beware of the way you talk to yourself one day finding allegiance in a loved one you’ll be heartbroken by to hear those same words in that same cadence echoed back to you. Beware of all the ways you’ve relinquished the responsibility to protect your soul from fragmentations, to the external reality that has no recourse but to fragment you.

Beware of the way your visceral and automatic feelings unconsciously drive and sabotage your decisions.

Beware of the neural highway to hell you’ve created from habitually ignoring and denigrating your very real pain because giving it your attention inconveniences you. Beware of the fantastic facade you keep choosing over your very simple and enough self.

Friendship manifesto

*wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar = we have nothing to say to each other.


If you’re using our interaction as an escape from presence – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you try to control or predict my emotional range so that you can remain a step ahead – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you try to gaslight or downplay my detection of your inconsistencies or incongruence- I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you withhold how you truly feel because you fear how I may respond to that and instead you look for ways to ambush me or project on me without implicating your vulnerable feelings – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you are more concerned with feeling like a good friend than figuring out whether you actually are a good friend – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you override what you know about me with your suspicions or projections to avoid remaining present with whatever you feel threatened by – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you’re going to deflect or deny what I’m intuitively picking up from you and consciously choose to put up a wall instead of engaging me – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you expect me to write off your actions because of your original intentions as if your uncommunicated intentions trumps the consequences of your actions – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you don’t want your feet held to the fire – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you’re more bothered with criticism than you are about the emotional impact of your inconsiderate behaviour – I’m sorry,wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you’ve pre-set the extent to which you want this interaction to expand and grow – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you’re more concerned with controlling how I perceive you than you are with reflecting on what I mirror back to you – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you show kindness or tolerate my annoying shit because you want that to be a credit to deflect or defend a future conflict – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

If you think that the reason I’m being patient with you or holding space for you or having understanding for you is due to something you did to deserve that – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

In short, if you don’t want my unconditional, unpredictable, uncensored, unmitigated presence and expression – I’m sorry, wax aan isku sheegeyno baa iska yar.

This is not to rebuke these behaviours and proclivities because we’re all on different phases and journeys, but just a clarification of the type of space I need to thrive.

I’ve made peace with the war

You know, sometimes I be hesitating about speaking about the truth that I see because people are so used to attacks and being denigrated that any uncomfortable truth can seem and feel unsafe. And I’ve never been one to put what I see is right above people feeling right. I don’t even think I function according to what I feel is right. I always approach things with an empty vessel and a curiosity to be filled with the truth. And it’s difficult when so much information isn’t true information, isn’t information gained through an empty vessel but information that’s been diluted with whatever is full of that individual vessel. And instead of communicating the understanding of the thing, people end up signalling what flavour of the thing they have. They conflate their interpretation of the appearance and surface of something as being the intuitive essence of that thing. They conflate their interpretation with the meaning behind what they are seeing.

And so, having been caught up in that tumult and trying not to make things worse, I ended up becoming invisible and keeping things to myself. I ended up internalizing people’s reactions and letting people’s perception define my intention. Alright, alright, I don’t wanna fight.

But I’ve come to know that people just lash out without really trying to understand your unique pov. So I had to start to trust myself and my integrity to know that I’m not a monster or a bully. I’m not trying to sell my ideas. And most importantly, my vantage point is empathy. Even when I’m pointing seemingly scathing things out it’s always with the holistic essence in mind. As in, I start by assuming that the person or situation started out wholesome and that in essence it’s wholesome but the actions are egregious. So my approach is always two-fold : to understand and connect with the non-verbal feeling that underpins the motivation for the bad deed, and to show why the roots of the deed is egregious. This, by not centering my own feelings or how it affects me personally, but how breaking away from the whole will never produce the intended results.

In other words, I attempt to show people the naked truth and how it’s really not good so that they can know that there’s a better reality that’s easier to access and comes with less struggle. I attempt to show that the pain and fear that makes people want to fight the world can be healed, for good. That it’s possible to not always live from the angle of that pain or fear.

I want the truth to be liberating for people, not damning.

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