Vulnerability

“Take any emotion—love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions—if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment’.”

Mitch Albom (Tuesdays with Morrie)

I’m a weakling, so what?

You can’t hurt me without a written invitation from me & mine

Me & my insecurities

You can’t kill my vibe without tying my noose of fear around my neck

Pull hard

You can’t offend me without doing so politely

‘Please’ and ‘may I’

May I make you feel small and insignificant, please?

On other days I’d concede, nod and bow my head in shame

Let your hate impact me and shatter my being

But today is different. Today I-

I unsnare I unscare I unhurt I unkill I unconcede

I peel off the dirty lies

Your lies, your views, your opinions- I disrobe

and as I stand bare in nothing but my scar- and flaw -laden soul,

Your power you exerted over me cascades down

Gathers in a tiny, murky puddle at your feet

Today is different and today you see your evil reflected in that puddle

You see that your entire life is murky and insignificant

and all the hatred you spewed at me became my strength and it became your destruction

 

 

 

 

Pan & Zoom

” You pardon yourself if you do wrong

But other than you are left unpardoned;

You see in his eye a speck of dust;

Whilst in yours a tree trunk you see not!”

 

Muhammad ibn Maqatil

From the ways of our pious predecessors pg.107

Price of freedom

My childhood was riddled with a forceful drive for curiosity. While other children played, I sat still in solitude, observing. This disturbed the adults around me in my daycare and later on pre-school, informing my parents in a bid to make me ‘normal’ like an ‘ordinary’ child. Had they asked me what I was thinking about, I would have told them that at age 4 I was thinking about my reason for existence, repeating over and over again ‘ why am I here‘ in my head with such intensity, circulating the coffee table in the living room, it made me scared and dizzy.

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Vampire,vampire

Most people fear speaking their mind, being completely honest. Most think it’s because they don’t want to ‘offend’ the person. Bull. The only real reason is one of self-preservation, a self-serving agenda. Surprised?Don’t be.We are wired that way.

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