A barking dog never bites

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Pain aversion is a kidnapper holding you up at gunpoint. Threatening you with all kinds of bad stuff. It works because you are scared. You comply, not thinking straight because all you want is to be safe, to get that gun out of your face. But you just let it into your house, now tu casa es su casa .
Fear is : crackling,whining sound. Whispers that aren’t too far but not near enough for you to locate the source. Talks when you tell it to shut up. Shuts up when you tell it to speak up. Chases you if you run away. Runs away if you chase it.

But when you face that gun and all that the evil in the barrel entails, stillness ensues. When you are in the midst of terror, a paradoxical tranquillity encompasses you. Though the pain runs deep, it’ll be over before dawn. Though it’ll be pitch black for an intense moment, it’s just before the dawn breaks through the sky, to save you. And when the first rays of the day seek you, you’ll be free forever. Your courage is a bullet-proof vest.

Social responsibility

Shit gets messed up when we rely on a handful socially aware individuals to curate relevant news and tragedies. This is a naive outlook on the world, to think that news outlets and online activists prioritize the truth and humanitarian disasters. There’s no cop-out to being engaged. Everyone has an individual responsibility and accountability to create an awareness of what hits close to home. If you’re a Somali, you can’t expect ‘the world’ to take note of the atrocities perpetuated by the likes of AMISOM or the recent maritime boundary dispute between Somalia and Kenya if you’re not engaged yourself.
If you ever ask yourself why nobody is doing anything about an issue, know that it’s because you aren’t.

It’s tough and tedious to self-educate, analyze,discuss,write,ask, petition, and therefore it’s easier and more comfortable to convince oneself that there’s nothing one can do. It’s cowardice and the worst kind of deception is deceiving yourself.
Even if you don’t have the energy or will to be engaged, at least don’t deflect responsibility from yourself by putting the blame on someone else.

Yes, you can’t do everything, but don’t let that make you lose sight of the things you can do, however minute.

On acceptance and shitty feelings

We’re not afraid of feeling pain or uncomfortable feelings..we fear that we’ll lose control if we allow ourselves to feel fully and deeply. That the feelings would take a hold of us and cast us into an emotional vortex whence we’ll never return…
We feel safe in the mental sanctuary we make for ourselves by suppressing feelings. We have an image we’d like to live up to and expectations we hold, and consciousness is a threat to everything.If we retain the slightest bit of control, perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad and all would be well in this world…

Emotional pollution

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Negativity in the world seem to be rampant and reigning. With all the conflicts and misery controlling the headlines, people find humanity is a lost cause. But I beg to differ.
I feel that we use negativity and the status quo as a cop-out to striving for the greater good. To entertain hope, to try and try again, to stand in the flame of truth, to love – all requires a degree of vulnerability, something which is very frightening to most.

Negativity isn’t a state. It’s the absence of positivity. Darkness is the absence of light. War is the absence of peace. Peace is not the absence of war. Drought is the absence of rain. Evil is the absence of good.

The creation of good requires us to put aside the mask we hide behind, and to put down our guards. It’s easier to use obstacles and pain as alibis for cowardice.

To take a look at the state of the world and proclaim it’s hopeless rids one of guilt. But it also rids one of the zest for life and courage. It’s comforting to not have to struggle, but the trade off is that one becomes a passive fixture in this world; having no impact, leaving no impact.

We create more of what we focus on, so when we lament and harp on and on about everything’s that wrong with this world, we create more of it. How? By discouraging people from trying to create good, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If one is certain of the futility of positivity, then why would they bother with contesting evil?

So, to those who’ve lost hope and convinced themselves of their powerlessness; you don’t have to contribute to this world, but please don’t deceive yourself. The worst deception is self-deception. And don’t pollute this world with even more doom and gloom, if you’re not going to offer hope and solution.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

– Edmund Burke

A misty morning overseas

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It was a way I had
That I’d be consumed by the fear of losing
-Love
-Security
-Comfort
-Him
Unable to withstand the corrosive effect of witnessing fears play out in my mind’s eye
I’d lose myself to retain him
And I’d eventually lose him too
But now that I’ve come to realize that I’m all I’ll ever have
In this world
I’m ready to lose you
To retain who I am
And if you’re truthful, you’ll withstand the corrosive effect of witnessing a rebirth of my being as I shed yet another layer of untruth
and you’ll eventually realize that you never really lost me

You gained all of me.

Noah 2.0

For a decade now, I’ve been in the grips of intense fear and lived life fleeing from every place that held the potential of pain. Basically, I lived in hibernation, hidden way below the ground. But yesterday I realized that it wasn’t pain that I was fearing; discovering that bonfire unveiled a completely different aspect that could better explain what has become of my life. I doubt my abilities to handle whatever happens to me, I feel weak and fragile. The slightest nudge is catastrophic in that I fear it’ll be the end of me. All this time I had focused on eliminating pain, but now I see that it’s the self-doubt that destroyed me.

I thought I was afraid of the ocean because of the turbulent waves that smashed into the shore where I stood; but what I was truly scared of was that my ship would not hold in the face of violent waves.

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
— Louisa May Alcott (Little Women )

Exiled to freedom

I was born into a cold world in which I didn’t belong, nor would I ever do so. I was destroyed for my innate anomaly . Every attempt I made at fitting in was thwarted and the world demanded I hand over my soul if I wished to belong.And when I was unable to do so, I was sent away to the precipice of life; doomed to live out my days in uncertainty and fear.

It was there that I discovered a group of wanderers who, just like me, had been exiled for not fitting in and they taught me to not fear this new world.

“But what if I fall?” I asked, horrified. The abyss below was dark and bottomless. My legs tingled at the thought of slipping.

“You’ll soon discover your wings, and when you do, you’ll throw yourself off the edge to soar, to explore.” they nonchalantly replied, in unison. I could tell that they had explored the abyss many times, and I knew that I was in the right company.


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‘Freedom’ by Melissa Chan

 

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