No frills

We’re conditioned to manipulate men into picking us to be loved. We exert influence to be noticed and recognized. Everything rides on someone else acknowledging what is stored within us but for which we don’t have a means of genuine expression.

I think this is why women act territorial over their men when the men flirt or have full-blown affairs with another woman. The other woman challenges the ‘main chick’ and rivals her influence over the man. It becomes less about the relationship and more about an overt kind of power: manipulation through illusion.

Illusion of what? Well, by embodying everything we pick up through non-verbal cues and pattern recognition that the man yearns for. We offer to become his crutch to bolster his ego. Anything to make him see that we’re the right choice. It’s no wonder then that consumerism and exploitation of women go hand in hand. It’s a macrocosmic representation of what we are conditioned to do in order to be chosen (consumed, bought).

The problem is, a relationship that came into fruition through convincing will always be dysfunctional unless the woman frees herself from the codependency and self-pity that is often used to avoid taking responsibility for oneself. Unless a woman is herself unconditionally, expecting no compensation or reward from the man for simply being her, she’ll forever be a subordinate to his ego and hold an auxiliary position in the relationship. She’ll be viewed as part of the service industry ; he’ll feel he maintains her existence. To some extent it’s true. When you give someone the role of being a mule for your inner expressions and self hood, you communicate that you’re not able to function without them. So while your contribution to his life is complementary, his contribution to yours is absolutely fundamental because you haven’t learnt to contain all of yourself within yourself. Your very safety lies in the hands of others. When the stakes are that high, you’ll tap dance and perform until you evaporate.

These lips are made for talking… the truth

I’m just clocking… women have perpetuated a lie amongst themselves about what womanhood is and should be.. Instead of submitting to the divine love, we’ve submitted to the ego desires.

When the ego takes hold of the feminine principle which is naturally conceding and surrendering, it makes a woman weaponize her subtle power by being sultry, seductive, and submissive to the male ego all in order to manipulate and get a share of the cake.

All this time.. I realize I was being brainwashed and gaslighted by other women who were acting as gatekeepers of women elitism. They’d say I can’t be outspoken, I can’t be imperfect, I can’t be myself, I have to be a triple threat, I have to watch out for these broads, I have to do everything to keep a man, I can’t ever cut myself some slack, but I always have to cut others slack to not be seen as bitter, I can’t show weakness, I can’t let anything get to me, I have to be a queen, I can’t let anyone see me out of character, I have to be a superwoman and a superwife and a supermum to be worthy, and honestly if I can’t manage all that I’m a pathetic, lazy excuse for a woman.

I wish that was an exaggeration. But that’s the conditioning I’ve been actively fighting and resisting since I was 13! And being told I’m stubborn, I’m hard-headed, I’m delusional, no man would ever want me or be able to handle me, I’ll never get married, I’ll never get along with anyone..

I wasn’t doing it to front or be contrarian. It just was a visceral reaction but I tried to become those things because I thought reality was one thing and I had to adapt, while having my authentic cake too. Jeez, I wonder why I never could combine those two.. /s 🙄

When the means is assigned a meaning

The purpose of the man is to serve, as this is the embodiment of the divine masculine. Serving through providing for his family, protecting, building, fighting, carrying, leading, teaching etc.

But when what he does became more important than who he is as a being, then he became a servant of the provision and forced the woman to serve him if she wanted to be nurtured and loved by him. Yes, really! Inverse dynamics is a hallmark of diabolical forces. The woman was the nurturer and now she’s serving her body and life force in order to get some validation and security back from the man and society.

The divine feminine isn’t materialistic at all. The divine feminine is aligned with the soul and spiritual, so where do you surmise this leaves this energy in the modern woman? Nowhere because she’s not grounded in her own body. She’s on edge, ready to up and leave at the drop of a hat, ready to adapt to the chaos out there in order to be noticed. Instead of nurturing the heart she’s out here serving the egos. She’s lost touch with the cosmos inside of her. She’s lost trust in her true power.

Forget this town

You can’t connect to God fully if you’re not balanced within.

If you’re too much in your mind (distorted masculine energy) you tend to fall into seeking power and security so much that you identify with the divine. This is what tripped Iblees up. If you’re too passive and loathe being on your own or expressing your individuality (distorted feminine energy) you tend to fall into codependency which may lead you into all kinds of shirk by attaching your heart to others, seeking their protection or nurture or guidance or purpose or validation – all of which only emanates from the divine.

Distressed mindsets of mindless damsels

As women, we have an extraordinary capability to endure bullshit, especially our own. And we need to see that. We need to see our own internal power struggle and corruption, not in the context of external power structures, but in terms of the choices we make. We continue to adhere to realities that aren’t aligned with our personal resonance, and completely discount our innate power and ability to stand in our truth, regardless of what people say, just like Maryam calayhassalaam. We continue to engage in disempowering mindsets like projecting our worth and strength on men we perceive as better able to do for us what we feel we can’t. This is the bizarre irony; in the one realm where we really do have an advantage and the upper hand, we sit back and wait to receive from men as a token of our worth.

Why? Because as women, we’ve agreed to extract our worth from how people validate and react to us. Whether we admit it or not, we crave approval because that’s the only recognition we can take without feeling overwhelmed by guilt and shame. This is also because we’ve placed our locus of control externally that slyly feeds a victim mentality of us doing everything right but never getting acknowledged for it. Well duh. We stray from our truths for fear of alienating people, and then we’re surprised when reality reflects back to us our inauthenticity?

Society is fucked up, yes,but a big part of the reason is because of us. Because we continue to seek redemption and approval in a cesspool when women have the sacred role to safeguard and rejuvenate the moral and spiritual fabric of society. We’ve become morally decadent, and that’s not in regards to men. I’m talking about our connection to the divine ; we’ve made men into our idols and what we gauge life by, and they in turn gave us conditional acceptance. So we cut ourselves down and up and burnt ourselves out to attain those conditions. But we can’t complain that men don’t give us unconditional acceptance, that we have to jump through these hoops that give us body dysmorphia and eating disorders, when we agreed to it. Then on top of that, we’ve misunderstood what empowerment and liberation means. It does not mean that others treat us right and well. It’s deeper and primordial and divine. No one can take away the inherent worth we were created with. I repeat : no man can take away the worth and value that has been divinely assigned to us.

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Dimensions of truth

It takes a lot of bravery to receive love unconditionally, as you are, with imperfections and insecurities that you believe make you repulsive or unlovable. Making space for your shadow to be loved beside you is one of the strongest things you’ll ever do. It’s hard, especially as a woman. It’s like we’ve cordoned off the part most in need of… most in need of love, light; love from our acceptance, light from our understanding of self. We’ve become so entrenched in our roles as nurturers that we’ve become a thing, separated from the whole, self-destructive almost as a punishment for needing the thing we so compulsively give away.

Catabolic love becomes a form of self-harm when it becomes a hollow receptacle for the antithesis of its essence , like comfort eating for starving the appetite of pain, or cutting to inflict pain in order to numb a different type of pain. It becomes mutated when our ego cuts our soul off the cosmic flow, breaking away from the harmonious cycle designed by the divine.When we defy or ignore our soul signals, we become rogue breakaway cells, cancerous, invasive, killing by refracting the life we were meant to be nourished by. We end up feeding others the starvation we feel, and not the fullness we intend to present.

Everything we touch is a fractal of our soul. Our ego is a hallucination we insist on others seeing. But others can’t see what is void of the divine light, now can they?

feminism is a crutch

In 2018, women finna learn about taking responsibility for their anger while holding space for the resistance that comes from the conflicting image we hold of ourselves as being more mature and caring than men.

Don’t project the fears that come up whenever you’d like to let loose and not bite your tongue anymore. That voice that warns you about what others would do is a fraud and an inner bully that uses your approval seeking to trip you up.

First order of biznits: don’t validate it by assuming your fear has roots in reality. That’s where self-fulfilling prophecies occur because you’ll either only align yourself with people who you can be a step ahead of by knowing how they gonna react OR you’ll act in ways that’d aggravate the other person because you’re placing a burden and a projection that aint theirs. Either way, you come away with the confirmation bias of men aint shit bla bla. Nah, you aint shit and that’s ok. Cuz we gon use that shit as fertilizer for growth.

Don’t be like Cardi B who had this to say when she was pressed about why she’s staying with a cheat: what do you want me to do? Cheat on him with another nigga? Leave so that I can get with another dude who’ll eventually cheat on me?

That tells you everything about why we keep seeing the same stories and themes recycled amongst women. It’s our own programming and we gotto take this a step further than just lazily fall back on men. We been on that wagon for 50 years. That phase is done. It’s about time we evolve and dig deeper. Come on now.

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