Narnia 2.0

Small and hidden is the door that leads inward, and the entrance is barred by countless prejudices, mistaken assumptions, and fears. Always one wishes to hear of grand political and economic schemes, the very things that have landed every nation in a morass. 

Therefore it sounds grotesque when anyone speaks of hidden doors, dreams, and a world within. What has this vapid idealism got to do with gigantic economic programmes, with the so-called problems of reality?
But I speak not to nations, only to the individual few, for whom it goes without saying that cultural values do not drop down like manna from heaven, but are created by the hands of individuals. If things go wrong in the world, this is because something is wrong with the individual, because something is wrong with me. 

Therefore, if I am sensible, I shall put myself right first. For this I need—because outside authority no longer means anything to me—a knowledge of the innermost foundations of my being, in order that I may base myself firmly on the eternal facts of the human psyche.” 

C.G. Jung, The Meaning of Psychology for Modern Man

is religion antiquated?

When people denounce religion in a reductivist way as to imply that modernity should make us all transcend such baseness, it makes me fear for humanity. Those who say this are usually white people in industrialized nations, where they are so far removed from the raw human condition that dwells in the cracks of suffering like poverty like death of children like rampant spread of crippling diseases, that they’ve forgotten their insignificant place in this universe.

 
Religion is ingrained in the subconscious as an archetype – it’s shaped the paths we’ve crossed as a collective from time immemorial. When you look down on it, you have put yourself at the centre of the universe. You’ve erased your human limits and imperfections because modern conveniences insulates you from feeling the powerlessness this man felt.

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The Unthinkable 

​The unconscious is the only available source of religious experience. This in certainly not to say that what we call the unconscious is identical with God or is set up in his place. It is simply the medium from which religious experience seems to flow. As to what the further cause of such experience might be, the answer to this lies beyond the range of human knowledge. Knowledge of God is a transcendental problem.
Carl Jung, The Undiscovered Self 


‏وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَن الرُّوح  قُل الرُّوحُ مِنْ أَمْر رَبِّي وَمَا أُوتِيتُم مِّن الْعِلْم  إِلاَّ قَلِيلاً

“And they ask you (O Muhammad ) concerning the Rooh (the Spirit); Say: ‘The Rooh (the Spirit): it is one of the things, the knowledge of which is only with my Lord. And of knowledge, you (mankind) have been given only a little.’ ”

(Al-Isra 17:85)

Book recommendations

Women who run with wild wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estés

A return to love – Marianne Williamson

Heart of the soul- Gary zukav

Escape from freedom – Erich Fromm

Art of loving – Erich Fromm

Women, food, God – Geneen Roth

On becoming a person – Carl Rogers

All about love – Bell Hooks

Prisoners of hate – Aaron Beck

Emotionally absent mother – Jasmin lee corri

The intuitive way – Penney Peirce

To be a man – Robert Augustus

Emotional intimacy – Robert Augustus

Sister outsider – Audre Lorde

The modern heroine’s journey of consciousness  – Molly McCord

52 Quotes to live by – Zett Why

The law of divine compensation – Marianne Williamson

Either/or – Søren Kierkegaard

Man and his symbols – C.G. Jung

A hidden wholeness – Parker J. Palmer

Blur –  Bill Kovach, Tom Rosenstiel

Codependency –  Melody Battie

The drama of the gifted child – Alice Miller

The undefeated mind – Alex Lickman

Rising Strong – Brene Brown

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up  – Marie Kondo

The courage to create – Rollo May

Constructive wallowing –  Tina Gilbertson

Soulshaping – Jeff Brown 

Between the world and me –                             Ta-nehisi Coates

The enlightened heart – Stephen Mitchell

The dancing Wu Li masters – Gary Zukav

A Heroine’s Journey

badassery

The title is a play on Joseph Campbell’s monomyth The Hero with a Thousand Faces. It’s been brilliantly depicted through an INFJs perspective here.

It’s very painful. I don’t know how to explain what’s happening other than through an analogy; it feels like I’m giving birth whilst having my skin ripped. Everything I’ve grown attached to and used as a crutch has been dissolved and I feel like I’m falling into a dark pit where annihilation awaits me. All my abandonment issues and repressed pain come out of the woodworks now that I have nothing to suppress them with,and it’s all too painful. Physically painful. In all my years in this heroine’s journey, I have never known a greater pain. And I think it’s because the very last part of my false self is dying. Ego death they call it. I feel nauseous, and a strong wish to just die. But then I realize I don’t really want to die, and that past suicidal thoughts and attempts have been desperate attempts at abandonment. I always jump ship before anyone can abandon me. Always. I have a knack for seeing when someone’s turning on me, growing sick of me. I sneak out like a thief in the night. They’ll never know what hit them.

In a way, that’s what I used to do to myself when it got overbearing. But I’m sensing a fundamental change; a separate identity from the one in pain has emerged, so the pain is compartmentalized. I can feel that what’s dying in me isn’t me. I don’t know how to explain it.

Now I know why most will never undergo this transformation. Why unconsciousness is so alluring. Why people prefer to be comatose.

Not only is everything I’ve grown accustomed to dissolving in the light of consciousness and maturity, but my true self is emerging.

Mothers, is this how giving birth feels like? Excruciating pain and being torn apart to give way to another life. I think I’ll opt for adoption.

It’s my fault. I have this morbid curiosity. I keep prying into my unconscious, when it nudges content my way either through dreams, intuition, or crossing paths with others.

If my soul was a person, it’d be covered in tattoos, be a chainsmoker, pierced all over, but a really kind person. LOL

I just turned 26 this month. I haven’t had time to pause and reflect on all the shit that my unconscious has thrown in my path. It’s like a videogame. I choose to go to the next level, and the next, and the next. I can’t stop. Like, in the past, I’d be lying on the floor, with blood in my mouth,and pills in my system and the first thing that crosses my mind is to analyze my suicide attempt. I.keep.attracting.lessons. No wonder I couldn’t hack school; I’m enrolled in an intensive crash course in life!

Simplicity is the most difficult thing in life. It involves searching,sifting,choosing,discarding. I feel that the more pain and metamorphosis I undergo, the more child-like I become. You’d expect that with everything’s that happened that I’d become more cautious and closed-off. Nope. I laugh at the silliest things, I’m very naive in that I can’t conjure the evils of others, I give and trust unconditionally, and I believe everything’s possible. But I’m also very fearless when it comes to standing up for what I believe in, in asserting my own truths. Maybe it’s my fearlessness that allows me to be child-like? Because I don’t have to watch my back?

 

The unconscious is not a demoniacal monster, but a natural entity which, as far as moral sense, aesthetic taste, and intellectual judgement go, is completely neutral. It only becomes dangerous when our conscious attitude to it is hopelessly wrong. To the degree that we repress it, its danger increases. But the moment the patient begins to assimilate contents that were previously unconscious, its danger diminishes. The dissociation of personality, the anxious division of the day-time and the night-time sides of the psyche, cease with progressive assimilation.

— C.G. Jung (The Essential Jung: Selected Writings)

But if we understand anything of the unconscious, we know that it cannot be swallowed. We also know that it is dangerous to suppress it, because the unconscious is life and this life turns against us if suppressed, as happens in neurosis. Conscious and unconscious do not make a whole when one of them is suppressed and injured by the other. If they must contend, at least let it be a fair fight with equal rights on both sides. Both are aspects of life. Consciousness should defend its reason and protect itself, and the chaotic life of the unconscious should be given the chance of having its way too – as much of it as we can stand. This means open conflict and open collaboration at once. That, evidently, is the way human life should be. It is the old game of hammer and anvil: between them the patient iron is forged into an indestructible whole, an ‘individual.’ This, roughly, is what I mean by the individuation process.

— C.G. Jung

Conscious pain || 36 Quotes to accompany an existential crisis

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1.Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
— Anaïs Nin

2.To fully relate to another, one must first relate to oneself. If we cannot embrace our own aloneness, we will simply use the other as a shield against isolation.
― Irvin D. Yalom

3.No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.
— C.G. Jung

4.It is often tragic to see how blatantly a man bungles his own life and the lives of others yet remains totally incapable of seeing how much the whole tragedy originates in himself, and how he continually feeds it and keeps it going.
— C.G. Jung

5.It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how things are in themselves. The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
— C.G. Jung

6.The reason for evil in the world is that people are not able to tell their stories.
— C.G. Jung

7.Sensation tell us a thing is.
Thinking tell us what it is this thing is.
Feeling tells us what this thing is to us.
— C.G. Jung

8….anyone who attempts to do both, to adjust to his group and at the same time pursue his individual goal, becomes neurotic.
— C.G. Jung

9.Love obsession often serves as a distraction, keeping the individual’s gaze from more painful thoughts.
— Irvin D. Yalom (The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients)

10.Dissect your motives deeper! You will find that no one has ever done anything wholly for others. All actions are self-directed, all service is self-serving, all love self-loving.
— Irvin D. Yalom (When Nietzsche Wept: A Novel of Obsession)

11.The path to decision may be hard because it leads into the territory of both finiteness and groundlessness—domains soaked in anxiety.
— Irvin D. Yalom (The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients)

12.Each time a goal is attained, it merely breeds additional needs. Thus more scurrying, more seeking, ad infinitum.
— Irvin D. Yalom (The Spinoza Problem)

13.The human being either asserts autonomy by heroic self-assertion or seeks safety through fusing with a superior force: that is, one either emerges or merges, separates or embeds. One becomes one’s own parent or remains the eternal child.
— Irvin D. Yalom (Love’s Executioner)

14.Marriage should be no prison, but a garden in which something higher is cultivated.
— Irvin D. Yalom (When Nietzsche Wept: A Novel of Obsession)

15.A person of high, rare mental gifts who is forced into a job which is merely useful is like a valuable vase decorated with the most beautiful painting and then used as a kitchen pot.
— Irvin D. Yalom (The Schopenhauer Cure)

16.Do not create children until one is ready to be a creator and to spawn creators.” It is wrong to bear children out of need, wrong to use a child to alleviate loneliness, wrong to provide purpose in life by reproducing another copy of oneself. It is wrong also to seek immortality by spewing one’s germ into the future—as though sperm contains your consciousness!
— Irvin D. Yalom (When Nietzsche Wept: A Novel of Obsession)

17.Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes’.
— Stephen Colbert

18.The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.
— Carl R. Rogers

19.The degree to which I can create relationships, which facilitate the growth of others as separate persons, is a measure of the growth I have achieved in myself.
— Carl R. Rogers (On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy)

20.The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.
— Carl R. Rogers

21.To be with another in this way means that for the time being you lay aside the views and values you hold for yourself in order to enter another’s world without prejudice. In some sense it means that you lay aside your self and this can only be done by a person who is secure enough in himself that he knows he will not get lost in what may turn out to be the strange or bizarre world of the other, and can comfortably return to his own world when he wishes. Perhaps this description makes clear that being empathic is a complex, demanding, strong yet subtle and gentle way of being.
— Carl R. Rogers

22.Growth occurs when individuals confront problems, struggle to master them, and through that struggle develop new aspects of their skills, capacities, views about life.
— Carl Rogers

23.I hear the words, the thoughts, the feeling tones, the personal meaning, even the meaning that is below the conscious intent of the speaker. Sometimes too, in a message which superficially is not very important, I hear a deep human cry that lies buried and unknown far below the surface of the person.
So I have learned to ask myself, can I hear the sounds and sense the shape of this other person’s inner world? Can I resonate to what he is saying so deeply that I sense the meanings he is afraid of, yet would like to communicate, as well as those he knows?
— Carl R. Rogers

24.True empathy is always free of any evaluative or diagnostic quality. This comes across to the recipient with some surprise. “If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or abnormal as I have thought.
— Carl R. Rogers

25.In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.
— Rollo May

26.Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself alone, and so they don’t find themselves at all.
— Rollo May (Man’s Search for Himself)

27.Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. Like a chemical mixture, if one of us is changed, both of us will be. Will we grow in self-actualization, or will it destroy us? The one thing we can be certain of is that if we let ourselves fully into the relationship for good or evil, we will not come out unaffected.
— Rollo May (The Courage to Create)

28.The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it’s conformity.
— Rollo May

29.The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt.
— Rollo May (The Courage to Create)

30.Recall how often in human history the saint and the rebel have be the same person.
— Rollo May (The Courage to Create)

31.Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness.
— Rollo May (The Courage to Create)

32.The human being cannot live in a condition of emptiness for very long: if he is not growing toward something, he does not merely stagnate; the pent-up potentialities turn into morbidity and despair, and eventually into destructive activities.
— Rollo May (Man’s Search for Himself)

33.Because it is possible to create — creating one’s self, willing to be one’s self, as well as creating in all the innumerable daily activities (and these are two phases of the same process) — one has anxiety. One would have no anxiety if there were no possibility whatever. Now creating, actualizing one’s possibilities, always involves negative as well as positive aspects. It always involves destroying the status quo, destroying old patterns within oneself, progressively destroying what one has clung to from childhood on, and creating new and original forms and ways of living. If one does not do this, one is refusing to grow, refusing to avail himself of his possibilities; one is shirking his responsibility to himself. Hence refusal to actualize one’s possibilities brings guilt toward one’s self. But creating also means destroying the status quo of one’s environment, breaking the old forms; it means producing something new and original in human relations as well as in cultural forms (e.g., the creativity of the artist). Thus every experience of creativity has its potentiality of aggression or denial toward other persons in one’s environment or established patterns within one’s self. To put the matter figuratively, in every experience of creativity something in the past is killed that something new in the present may be born. Hence, for Kierkegaard, guilt feeling is always a concomitant of anxiety: both are aspects of experiencing and actualizing possibility. The more creative the person, he held, the more anxiety and guilt are potentially present.
— Rollo May

34.Depression is the inability to construct a future.
— Rollo May (Love and Will)

35.Consciousness is the awareness that emerges out of the dialectical tension between possibilities and limitations.
— Rollo May (The Courage to Create)

36.We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

— Kurt Vonnegut (If This Isn’t Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young

 

 

 

A journey of unbecoming

Your real, authentic self is not someone you strive to become, rather it’s someone you already are. Just like you were born with the potential intelligence,eye colour,height, genetic dispositions to certain disorders, innate to your physical body, so were you born a complete soul with its personality. However, just as the phenotypes and genotypes can be hampered or distorted by a non-conducive environment that stifles development, so can one’s true self be repressed by facades and defensive mechanisms.

As children, we respond differently to similar stimuli, according to our inherent makeup. Exposed to emotional or physical trauma, some children may grow up to inflict on others the trauma they were subjected to while other children may live in a state of perpetual fear and helplessness.

Because our minds and personalities aren’t fully formed until the age of 25, the brain protects itself against overwhelming pain by shutting down or any of the myriad of defensive mechanisms there are. It’s a matter of survival and maintaining sanity.

However,most people never get around to address those repressed traumas and wounds and they live out their lives in the shadow of their childhood. They remain unconscious and everything they do is subconscious.

Digging up the skeletons of the past may seem like a highly counterproductive exercise; after all, shouldn’t we let bygones be bygones?

That’s a common misunderstanding that operates on the assumption that out of sight means out of mind. That because we’ve forgotten a painful incident, it’s out of our system. But emotions are energy, and energy doesn’t just disappear unless redirected. We might think that because we’re not aware of the effects an incident had on us, that we’re ok, completely disregarding the fact that we’re burdened by negative thought loops and self-sabotaging mindsets as a direct result of unprocessed conflicts and traumas.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 

— C.G. Jung

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