Love is very demanding, zero tolerance for bullshit. It won’t reveal itself until you’ve stripped down to your true colours and even then you can’t hold any expectations because what you’ll learn is a rebirth of the senses.
I’m of the view that a relationship should be the fruits of a union, not the roots to settle on. Each party should have the relationship rooted in their hearts, sacrificing for a value shared and preferring the higher good of the union to one’s self.
Then and only then will the outcome become fruitful and even in wintry times or drought, the union is held together by the roots nestled in the hearts of the lovers. A romantic union can’t survive without the inner stability of both individuals.
A relationship can’t go deeper than you have within yourself and it can’t provide what is lacking in you. It only reflects and amplifies what’s within you, for good or bad. It’s intense and exposes many whose dedication to the transpersonal is shallow. Although the coming together of two individuals is interpersonal, the third energy which is the union is always transpersonal. That is, something bestowed by the divine.
And that’s why a sacred relationship is a marriage. That’s the meaning of a marriage ; the carrier of the transpersonal.
“There is a third kind of relationship, the only lasting one, in which it is as though there were an invisible telegraph wire between two human beings. He said, “I call it, to myself, the Golden Thread.
This may be masked by other forms of a relationship. And other forms may be present without any such thread in them.
It is only when the veil of maya, of illusion, is rent for us that we can begin to recognize the Golden Thread.
And just as it is impossible to individuate without relatedness, so it is impossible to have real relationships without individuation.
For otherwise illusion comes in continually, and you don’t know where you are.”
– C. G. Jung, C. G. Jung Speaking : Interviews and Encounters
Illusions cause separation from truth. Union only happens through clarity.
Be with someone who refuses to play part in your self-sabotage. Someone unimpressed by your antics, and refuses to entertain anything other than your whole truth. Not performative truisms or clichés designed to get a specific outcome, meaning their approval, but your unedited, unpropped, raw truth that runs through you like blood. Someone who refuses to settle for anything less than your true self, no matter how flattering all your facade is.
Receiving love is about receiving life force and you can’t receive life in the parts of you that you don’t want in your life.
Know that pure love is a derivative of the divine love; its flow is unconditional and its force is abundant. Therefore, don’t try to receive from any source – be it a parent, romantic partner, societal norm etc – that requires you to show up and fit into a certain mold to receive their love. It’s not love. It’s mutualism. You’re both benefitting from the relationship, but there’s no direct exchange of flow.
Love by its very essence erodes barriers and it can contrast your blocks quite harshly too, don’t get it twisted. Love can just as easily manifest as a tornado as it can a gentle breeze. Sometimes the blocks are so great and the delusion is so dense that it takes drastic measures to break you out (that’s if you were ready to be saved from your ego)
It takes a lot of bravery to receive love unconditionally, as you are, with imperfections and insecurities that you believe make you repulsive or unlovable. Making space for your shadow to be loved beside you is one of the strongest things you’ll ever do. It’s hard, especially as a woman. It’s like we’ve cordoned off the part most in need of… most in need of love, light; love from our acceptance, light from our understanding of self. We’ve become so entrenched in our roles as nurturers that we’ve become a thing, separated from the whole, self-destructive almost as a punishment for needing the thing we so compulsively give away.
Catabolic love becomes a form of self-harm when it becomes a hollow receptacle for the antithesis of its essence , like comfort eating for starving the appetite of pain, or cutting to inflict pain in order to numb a different type of pain. It becomes mutated when our ego cuts our soul off the cosmic flow, breaking away from the harmonious cycle designed by the divine.When we defy or ignore our soul signals, we become rogue breakaway cells, cancerous, invasive, killing by refracting the life we were meant to be nourished by. We end up feeding others the starvation we feel, and not the fullness we intend to present.
Everything we touch is a fractal of our soul. Our ego is a hallucination we insist on others seeing. But others can’t see what is void of the divine light, now can they?