Responsibility = red pill

People put up with bs and malice because of some pleasure factor that they think balances it out. Pull the plug on whatever feel-good elements you’re hoping to source from the outside ( validation, belonging, promotion, protection etc) because it’s an illusion. It’ll never last. And that’s what holds you back in life.

Next time you’re frustrated with yourself and wonder why you’re stuck or why you end up with the same toxic themes, ask yourself what your payoff is. Go beyond the egotistical self-deception that will have you believe that you’re an innocent victim to absolve your conscience of responsibility. Taking responsibility is your only way out of the matrix.

Nigredo

The manifestation of the new is like the gradient of the dawn. Every step towards the faint energy solidifies it in your field. But you can’t be impatient and try to fast forward it. You’re skipping the most essential part of the process by omitting yourself. Being receptive is being present.

And that’s why many people get worried when things go well; they’ve associated the gradient with something that teases and disappears. It didn’t disappear, you did. You bailed on yourself and your fear of things not lasting, your dreadful anticipation of things going awry is proof that you’re not here to witness what’s dawning in you.

Because there’s a long and dark night before dawn comes, and most want to sleep it through.

feminism is a crutch

In 2018, women finna learn about taking responsibility for their anger while holding space for the resistance that comes from the conflicting image we hold of ourselves as being more mature and caring than men.

Don’t project the fears that come up whenever you’d like to let loose and not bite your tongue anymore. That voice that warns you about what others would do is a fraud and an inner bully that uses your approval seeking to trip you up.

First order of biznits: don’t validate it by assuming your fear has roots in reality. That’s where self-fulfilling prophecies occur because you’ll either only align yourself with people who you can be a step ahead of by knowing how they gonna react OR you’ll act in ways that’d aggravate the other person because you’re placing a burden and a projection that aint theirs. Either way, you come away with the confirmation bias of men aint shit bla bla. Nah, you aint shit and that’s ok. Cuz we gon use that shit as fertilizer for growth.

Don’t be like Cardi B who had this to say when she was pressed about why she’s staying with a cheat: what do you want me to do? Cheat on him with another nigga? Leave so that I can get with another dude who’ll eventually cheat on me?

That tells you everything about why we keep seeing the same stories and themes recycled amongst women. It’s our own programming and we gotto take this a step further than just lazily fall back on men. We been on that wagon for 50 years. That phase is done. It’s about time we evolve and dig deeper. Come on now.

I see the sunrise in the middle of the night

You can only demand to be loved when you own the fact that you love, and you love deeply and unconditionally and madly. It’s never in vain. Don’t use your love in a cheap transaction of settling for acceptance or validation of what you do for them. Nah, embrace everything about you and then pray that just as you love, you’ll be loved. All of you. Even the parts you weren’t aware needed loving.

Heartwashed

The concept of willpower is modeled after the indoctrination of society. The things we uphold as ideals to attain are always sourced externally from either people who’ve attained it or being encouraged by people we look up to. And it’s always entangled with this assumption that reaching a certain goal will somehow unlock a state of being, a certain way of feeling… But that’s erroneous and horribly disempowering. Trying to escape the discomfort of the moment effectively imprisons you to the discomfort because you can’t outrun what’s within you.

When you have love, you don’t need willpower. The latter is the ego’s attempt at bypassing whatever impulses and inclinations arises naturally within the person in order to curate control through a certain persona. Love is acceptance and surrender. Love disarms the ego and dissolves the mind’s resistance. But you got to feed it with faith. Faith in the meaning of your emotions and your experiences. Faith in the divine and the perfect structure of everything. Faith.

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