Truth is so darkened nowadays, and lies so established, that unless we love the truth we will never know it.
Don’t guard against what you’re afraid of
Define what you do want, and risk your all to be authentic to you. Even if you don’t get what you want, you haven’t lost, but gained all of you. And if you compromise and settle for something, you’ve lost something far greater for which your gain can’t outweigh, which is your truth.
The man i want is the man who goes with his intuition over his fears, with his heart over his ego. The man who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and is willing to sacrifice everything to remain true to his feelings. The man who cherishes our connection because he recognizes how deeply his soul resonates with it. The man who beyond the shadow of a doubt knows that I’m the one because he’s known who he is and what he’s been lacking all his life. The man who is courageous enough to defy everything for his love for me knowing I’d do the same and more for him.
And until I recognize *that* man, I’m not negotiating with just anyone . Because I didn’t get this far in my quest for true love only to get this far and be wobbly. I’d rather remain single knowing that I didn’t sacrifice my authenticity for anyone and hoping that I’ll find true love in jannah, than compromise and forever feel unworthy and resentful towards myself.
Ultimately, this is a test that forces me to come out of my hiding by taking a stance and not just fall behind like a shadow. It’s a test that pits everything I’ve wanted in a man against my self love.
Watch me break through my ego and be caught by my soul through surrendering to the confounding polarities in my dilemma . The self that is fearing shame and loss isn’t me. I’m unfolding into my wholeness, like a wave into the ocean.
I recorded my life on my bare truth
I know that every emotion that stirs me to rise to an occasion will eventually take me all the way back to whence I began: my soul
I know that impure intentions laced with fear or lack always lead to being entangled in the spider’s web
I know cobwebs like the back of my hand
It’s taken over a decade, but I’ve reclaimed my power and cleansed all my corrupted files
So I know that the root of every thought and feeling and opinion will lead me deeper into my own core, enriching me because I’m not being consumed by others as a way to pay for the power I had outsourced
I own the masters of the music of my soul
Self-love is what heals you on this journey
It’s what defies all odds
It’s what invites hope
It’s what transmutes the negativity in the world
It’s what maintains inner balance
It’s the space you retreat to from the hustle and bustle of the world
It’s what nurtures you in the void
It’s what guides your growth, ever so gently
It’s what sharpens the sword of your truth
It’s what polishes your heart, so abandoned
It’s what reminds you of why you’re toiling on this journey when you’re on the cusp of giving up
It’s your inherent worth, reimbursed for your journey to actualizing the self
It’s the blood that carries the nutrients and removes the toxins from your being
And just like the cardiovascular system is intricately irreplaceable, nothing can be done for the one who trashes their internal system for painful blood transfusions on the weekly.
All your energy goes towards making it to the blood transfusion , and one of these days you’ll die on your way there. Ya squandered a life because of lies you thought you were too insignificant to challenge.
Aight, keep playing yourself like a violin and see if anyone will hear your despondent symphonies while you await burial .
The best outcome arises only when you align yourself with your truth: feeling, being, thinking.
Even if that entails sacrificing a desired outcome or letting go of something very dear to you. Because whatever you sacrifice for your truth, God one ups you by making your potential your outcome.
She lends her pen,
to thoughts of him,
that flow from it,
in her solitary.
For she is his poet,
And he is her poetry
— Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure