Destruction is seductive

A success that excludes the whole isn’t a success. A solution that only remedies a part isn’t a solution. What’s holistic creates a timeless and unshakeable foundation. What’s compartmentalized creates agitation and furore in the suppressed and bandaided part that in time will erupt in monstrosity. Growth that’s out of tune and pace with the whole is cancerous. A cancer that soon will destroy the whole.

At this point it ought to be evident that personal success that’s disconnected from the concern of the collective is just another landfill, another Great Pacific garbage patch. It’s ironic that our contribution and gratitude to this planet is physical and emotional refuse.

Love don’t leave me lonely

Self-hate is a familiar and readily available narrative that I’m well-versed in. I’ve had a lifetime of perfecting the disastrous art of blaming everything that happens to me on myself, even the heinous transgressions of others. It gives me a landing place, a corner to hide in, a certainty to perform. Absorbing all the hate and disdain allows me to relax and not having to constantly watch over my shoulder for incoming attacks. When I’m saturated with it, others would probably leave me alone because I don’t have any more room for damage. And all I ever wanted was to be left alone.

Seeing through the clouds

When you accept and surrender to your deepest pain and fears, you free your focus from resisting what is into meditating on what could be, which is truly as endless and unlimited and abundant as Allaah. Hope is inevitably a search for Allaah.

When you make room for the thorn in your side, you’re no longer bound to it. You’re untangled from its hooks and though you’re aware of the pain you’re not it. You’re no longer taking responsibility for something that was assigned to you by divine decree and through divine wisdom. You’re no longer blaming yourself for something that is meant to open you up to the obstacles within you. You no longer have to split your consciousness or compartmentalize your awareness in order to be.

When you let yourself feel everything, you feel fulfilled and free.

Don’t try to find me

There’s like a constant dark cloud hovering over me, no matter what. It’s always there, in my peripheral view, reflected in the puddle on the street, dimming the sunshine. As if to remind me that I’m not free. I can’t stray too far from my home for fear of a downpour finding me without a shelter. Or a lightning bolt striking me. I can’t enjoy anything because I know that it won’t be long till the darkness rumbles in a distance, putting me in place. How do you outrun the sky? That’s why I love the night. No sun to remind me of what I can never enjoy, no shadow to haunt me and no visible clouds. At home in the darkness so that I don’t have to constantly look over my shoulder. Here, I surrender.

Epistemological obstacles

From Wikipedia

Bachelard proposed that the history of science is replete with “epistemological obstacles”—or unthought/unconscious structures that were immanent within the realm of the sciences, such as principles of division (e.g., mind/body). The history of science, Bachelard asserted, consisted in the formation and establishment of these epistemological obstacles, and then the subsequent tearing down of the obstacles. This latter stage is an epistemological rupture—where an unconscious obstacle to scientific thought is thoroughly ruptured or broken away from.

We spend a lot of time discussing the nature of an obstacle, say resistance to gun control. The solution to gun violence is incomprehensible because of the obstacle, the resistance to any measures on guns.

Instead, people spend time and effort explaining and discussing the resistance and in effect resisting the resistance.

This diagram suggests that in order to solve this stalemate, a space needs to be constructed for the obstacles to be UNDERSTOOD and the conditions that favour the creation of said obstacle.

SO, if you want to resolve gun violence, per our example, then the way isn’t to fight the resistance but to study it. Once that resistance has its own space, the path to a solution is no longer crowded or diverted by side issues.

Moral cleansing

When you reject and refuse to humble yourself to feel your pain you’ll inevitably run into humiliation and degradation.

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