When we shun the depths of the heart, we may drown in the devil’s language; a darkness made of ends and finality.
I feel guilty for falling apart. I feel guilty for losing hope. I feel guilty for letting the people I convinced life ain’t all bad down. I feel guilty for letting the world down. If I give up on me, then I can’t help others. I couldn’t live with that.
A structure held up by denying my pain is a destructive structure. Anything that crumbles under the weight of truth makes space for what’s better and more wholesome. Nothing should be fuelled by your shadow.
Linear time is a manipulation of the divine reality and a superimposing of the ego on existence. As in, assuming things don’t have a purpose or function outside what we recognize in them. As in, a fragmentation of life to make it easier to cope. As in, a way of quelling our fear of death by giving ourselves to the illusion that as long as we have things under control, life won’t and can’t slip away.
As in, the very foundation of a lack mentality; what you lost or missed out on in the past you can regain in the future. Meanwhile, we’re the only ones racing with the sun and we still haven’t been able to beat it to sunset. Because everything in nature accepts decline and demise but us.
Not everyone is guided through explicit means. Some are guided through atheism. Others are guided through tragedies. And yet others are guided through opulence and privilege. All of the cosmos is imbued with signs and the goal isn’t to become well-versed in a specific language, but to be able to communicate and perceive the Truth..
سَنُرِيهِمْ آيَاتِنَا فِي الْآفَاقِ وَفِي أَنفُسِهِمْ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُ الْحَقُّ ۗ أَوَلَمْ يَكْفِ بِرَبِّكَ أَنَّهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ
We will show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth. But is it not sufficient concerning your Lord that He is, over all things, a Witness?
Allaah teaches through polarities, opposites, and duality.
It’s how Ibraaheem alayhissalaam discovered Allaah:
. وَكَذَٰلِكَ نُرِىٓ إِبْرَٰهِيمَ مَلَكُوتَ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ وَلِيَكُونَ مِنَ ٱلْمُوقِنِينَ
And thus did We show Abraham the realm of the heavens and the earth that he would be among the certain [in faith]
فَلَمَّا جَنَّ عَلَيْهِ ٱلَّيْلُ رَءَا كَوْكَبًا قَالَ هَٰذَا رَبِّى فَلَمَّآ أَفَلَ قَالَ لَآ أُحِبُّ ٱلْءَافِلِينَ
So when the night covered him [with darkness], he saw a star. He said, “This is my lord.” But when it set, he said, “I like not those that disappear.”
We start out life with the wrong set of beliefs and values and when/if we awaken, it’s always in the middle of a mental maze that we have to find our way out of. So the journey isn’t a journey outwards, it’s not gaining something new. It’s regaining what was already created in you by retracing your steps in your flight from pain (consciousness;because the sensation of emotional or psychological pain is simply having what conflicts with your patterns, present in your awareness).
It’s tricky because this can mask itself as a belief that the falsehood has made you ‘not enough’, it has ruined you, that you’re in need of fixing. Be careful because this is the subtle ways the demons mislead you. They superimpose assumptions that lead you away from the truth, and you keep going because it’s something you think you’ve already understood!! When you feel that you’re fundamentally insufficient then all your focus and actions will go toward ‘fixing’ yourself and it’s an impossible loop because it’s not grounded in truth! You can’t do anything to fix yourself, just as you can’t do anything to create yourself. That part of you is inviolable. It’s a matter of reconnecting, that’s all. You need not do anything on the outside to do that. It’s like rebooting a computer ; you don’t need internet or softwares to do that! But imagine when your focus is manipulated to make you believe that you’re doing right by reading all about rebooting and all the softwares that make it so that you never have to reboot again, and all the while you’re going farther and farther away from getting around to rebooting yourself! Do you understand? Your brain can’t tell the difference. You end up believing you actually did the thing because you were so immersed in it. It’s a very sophisticated trick.
It also is a way to discourage you and deplete your energy so that the truth seems so cumbersome and convoluted. Your emotions are your black box. They record everything. So when you don’t know what went wrong, silence your mind and let your emotions arise spontaneously. You’d be so surprised to discover how sophisticated your psyche actually is! Seriously. It needs no input from you other than to stop resisting it with your thoughts and incessant intellectualization. Keep an eye on yourself, otherwise you’ll be compromised and hijacked while you’re made to believe that this is just how reality is, how life is supposed to be.
It’s not! If it were that way, it wouldn’t disturb our emotional baseline. We’d be made for the chaos and turbulence. But we’re not.
The opposite of unconditional love is toxic guilt. Toxic guilt arises from conditional love where someone will have you fit into a pre-determined template of love that demands that your behavioural patterns align with that template. And where you don’t, you’re not afforded understanding or having space held for you ; your non-conformity to expectations is interpreted as intentional and malicious.
Do not accept it or be tricked into thinking that this person was legit hurt. Their ego was hurt because they suddenly felt a loss of control. Whatever loss of control conjures in them will be automatically put on you as if you caused that distress and inner turmoil (when in actuality they stem from lifelong core wounds they never want to face).
The opposite of empathy is shame. Don’t accept anyone shaming you for what you couldn’t do or couldn’t do perfectly. If they’re devoid of empathy, their opinion is invalid.