The only way out is a new way inwards

The truth is the Achilles heel of all evil and they/it has no power whatsoever to push truth back. The ONLY power, I repeat, the ONLY power evil has is distraction. Our pain, fears, doubts, insecurities, latent triggers, paranoia etc., get stoked and used against us whenever we get close to the truth.

It’s just a ruse. Reclaim the power of your focus and learn to do it now because it’s too late to start training your horse right before a race. Things are building up rn in an unprecedented way. I just watched this video from Truthstream media which is one of extremely select few sources of alternative news I actually trust and they aren’t alarmists or fear mongerers but the high-level political events in Europe this week had them very worried because nothing like this has happened in at least a couple of decades.

And it had me thinking what my vantage point is when obviously I’m unaware of what goes on behind the scenes yet I don’t like to be a victim to circumstances, especially corrupt ones. So I made ducaa (meditating prayer) and asked Allaah to reveal to me the truth in this maze of confusion and what I can do to keep away from the melee.

I kept lazy surfing the net when I started feeling myself becoming detached from my body and this moment, sorta like when your foot falls asleep but mentally. And then I felt the fears growing that I’d have an anxiety attack or a flashback that’d ruin my chances of sleep and would sweep me away. It felt like I was headed for a waterfall and meanwhile I can’t stop going through meaningless stuff, in a mind-numbing way. I then had an intuition that told me to close my eyes and take a deep breath. At the same time I was having thoughts that were deterring me from that saying it’s only going to slow me down in my escape from whatever is brewing inside me. It felt futile. But I did it anyway and all of a sudden the momentum of whatever storm was brewing dissipated. I was stunned and went back to whatever I was doing. Shortly after same thing happens, I feel the current gathering speed and the fears kick in. I repeat the grounding exercise. Poof.
All of a sudden the numbness that came over me released and I felt connected to my body again. I had clarity and my will was unclogged. I identified some things I had put off that was bothering me so I got up to do the brief tasks and as I was doing them I was amazed at what had happened. And it was then that I had intuitive downloads come in answering the ducaas I had made earlier. It was a rapid breakdown of the nature and structure of what’s happening and what to do about it and the gist of it is as I outlined in the beginning.

It was also explained to me what that grounding exercise was. Whenever any past emotions or strong memories came up I’d get identified with it as if it was something that was happening now. My brain would engage with it as if it’s a current problem and that’s the feeling of being swept away that I’d feel. This misunderstanding created a huge disconnect between me and my physical reality because I wasn’t letting the emotions that would organically resurface because they were ready to be released (which is a good thing) go.

When I’d close my eyes and take a deep breath, that would prompt my brain to breakaway from the hold of the past and create new neural pathways to a new reality where the pain isn’t relevant or connected.

To me, this is a huge shift because I always thought that I had to fix and analyze and heal whatever came up but actually the only reason why the past was relevant till now wasn’t because my healing depended on it but because I was learning from it. I needed to integrate the wisdom contained in it which was the whole reason why I had to go (and grow) through everything I did. Healing is not the fixing of pain but the rerouting of the mind away from the old trajectory. It’s to choose new responses to the old stimuli. It’s to change your number basically. And this ties in to the ducaa I made about wanting to know the truth about the sinister doings that may impact me: if I continue to make choices that are committed to my truth and the harmony of humanity I am creating pathways that not only steers me clear off the path of evil but would be a much needed sanctuary for others AND evil can never ever find it. Ever. It’s like Wakanda ๐Ÿ˜. Evil never walks on the straight and narrow (open). It depends on discontinuity, ambiguity and discord. It can’t step to the light, ever. But God can’t protect you from behind enemy lines. You have to find the path of clarity and consciousness WITHIN you. Though people may bombard you figuratively or literally, they can’t take away your soul and the interpretations you create about what happens. Your focus is your soul in the form of a laser beam. Don’t feed it to your lower instincts.

Plant an evolution

The heavy earth is no challenge to a frail plant intent on growing through the hindering surface, to stand in full bloom.

Have a share

Memories taste like nostalgia and i wonder if itโ€™s possible to plant them and have a summer of bliss.

Pain is a sรฉance

The pain that reverberates through my blood is responded to by the echoes of my foremothers. I connect with them through my heavy heart and dismayed mind, and their strength and wit encased in my dna, unspent, becomes mine to inherit. I can feel their caution and unspoken grief, as I ask Allaah to let me do the legacy of female warriors justice.


I throw off the yoke of control that made me feel safe, and I jump into the strong currents of my depression as it leads me to the edge of chaos. Iโ€™m hoping on a miracle, like Musaโ€™s mother did. I close my eyes, relax my mind and open my heart. Iโ€™m as prepared for a hopeful conclusion as I am prepared for an existential death. Whatever the case, Iโ€™m here.


ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽุชู’ ู„ูŽู‡ูู…ู’ ุฑูุณูู„ูู‡ูู…ู’ ุฅูู† ู†ู‘ูŽุญู’ู†ู ุฅูู„ุงู‘ูŽ ุจูŽุดูŽุฑูŒ ู…ู‘ูุซู’ู„ููƒูู…ู’ ูˆูŽู„ูŽูƒูู†ู‘ูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ูŽ ูŠูŽู…ูู†ู‘ู ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู…ูŽู† ูŠูŽุดูŽุงุก ู…ูู†ู’ ุนูุจูŽุงุฏูู‡ู ูˆูŽู…ูŽุง ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽ ู„ูŽู†ูŽุง ุฃูŽู† ู†ู‘ูŽุฃู’ุชููŠูŽูƒูู… ุจูุณูู„ู’ุทูŽุงู†ู ุฅูู„ุงู‘ูŽ ุจูุฅูุฐู’ู†ู ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ูˆูŽุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ููŽู„ู’ูŠูŽุชูŽูˆูŽูƒู‘ูŽู„ู ุงู„ู’ู…ูุคู’ู…ูู†ููˆู†ูŽ

โ€œTheir Messengers said to them: โ€œWe are no more than human beings like you, but Allaah bestows His Grace to whom He wills of His slaves. It is not ours to bring you an authority (proof) except by the Permission of Allaah. And in Allaah (Alone) let the believers put their trust.โ€

ูˆูŽู…ูŽุง ู„ูŽู†ูŽุง ุฃูŽู„ุงู‘ูŽ ู†ูŽุชูŽูˆูŽูƒู‘ูŽู„ูŽ ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ูˆูŽู‚ูŽุฏู’ ู‡ูŽุฏูŽุงู†ูŽุง ุณูุจูู„ูŽู†ูŽุง ูˆูŽู„ูŽู†ูŽุตู’ุจูุฑูŽู†ู‘ูŽ ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู…ูŽุง ุขุฐูŽูŠู’ุชูู…ููˆู†ูŽุง ูˆูŽุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ููŽู„ู’ูŠูŽุชูŽูˆูŽูƒู‘ูŽู„ู ุงู„ู’ู…ูุชูŽูˆูŽูƒู‘ูู„ููˆู†ูŽ

“And why should we not put our trust in Allaah while He indeed has guided us our ways. And we shall certainly bear with patience all the hurt you may cause us, and in Allaah (Alone) let those who trust, put their trust.โ€

(Ibrahim 14:11-12)

1. Itโ€™s not your task to convince those who doubt you. Their premise is flawed because they want you to make up for something that is lacking in them.

2. Be connected to what your heart is convinced of, and donโ€™t be duped into shifting focus to ego. No one can give you what you want, but Allaah, and no one can take away what you have, but Allaah. So chill.

3. Know that what people say and think about you has no power to affect your reality, as long as youโ€™re grounded in your authentic feelings.

4. Be ok with not knowing everything. Be ok with being wrong. Donโ€™t be tricked into dissolving your faith because of doubt. The truth wonโ€™t weaken your convictions, itโ€™ll bring you new ones. It cascades outward. Itโ€™s up to you to integrate what you have when a truth has come to you, but doubts always try to snatch away whatever you have without replacing it. Doubt is parasitic.

5. Accept worst case scenarios that your fears may conjure, or else youโ€™ll be enslaved by illusions that arenโ€™t true at all. Your willingness to endure fears and doubt will be the door through which Allaahโ€™s redemption and miracles will enter.

6. Never put your trust in what is tangible and controllable. That is fleeting and not reliable. Safety is never in control, itโ€™s in surrender.

Message in a bottle

I donโ€™t want to spend my life proving to others, proving my fears wrong. I want to explore the symbolisms ingrained in my subconscious and all the proofs Allaah has engraved in the universe laden with messages and meanings.

I want to create worlds from my primordial love, I want to discover words to swaddle my ethereal feelings with. I absolutely want to burn all the remaining bridges connecting me to this 3d plane so that falsehood wonโ€™t find me. And I want to build new bridges so that I can connect with the world from a holistic and wholesome place.

I have so much to explore and the best part is that Allaah created the reality blueprint in my soul. So if something is amiss, I know itโ€™s not the original intention because Allaahโ€™s creation is seamless, effortless.

I want to be in the world but not of it. I want to be connected to Allaah before I die. Iโ€™ve learnt that only He can make my existence complete and safe and rich. Because Iโ€™ll never be able to crack the code of my existence, but I can flow in the mystery.

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