Emaan clout

Becoming a more religious Muslim should never cause you more anxiety. If it does, there’s something warped about your perception of Allaah. Your mental construct of what you should do or be is preventing your heart from directly connecting to Him. It’s creating resistance instead of resonance.

Don’t get lost in semantics. Emaan is a feeling. Let it flow. You don’t need to be perfect. You’ll pick up the pace eventually. But that won’t happen if you’re stagnant.

Maybe the problem with the hive mind of stereotypical religious Muslims is that there’s a delineation of practicing and piety?

I mean, who’s to say who’s ‘on’ or ‘off’ if purification of the self is a continuous cycle? Who’s keeping tabs? Do our deeds define us? Why do we need definition? Isn’t that an attempt at standing out? Wouldn’t Allaah be able to pick out your intentions from the crowd? Why then is there an emphasis on idiosyncrasies and nonessential mannerisms under the guise of ‘the sunnah’ ? It’s like this uncomfortably unnatural glitch where the person’s natural disposition is overlaid with what is deemed the proper way to act. The problem becomes that the acting effectively shuts out the person’s psyche, ensuring that the change in demeanor is nothing but superficial. And you’ll find plenty of examples in people who’ve gone from one extreme in practicing to the complete other of being morally depraved and heinous. Acting a certain way is actually counterintuitive because it doesn’t allow space for the person to organically get in touch with different facets of their being that would then spark the desire for transformation. There has to be a genuine interaction with the self in a non-judgmental and nonperfectionistic way.

To be clear, I’m not talking about ’deen is in the heart, you don’t need to wear it on your sleeve’. I believe that the deen is an integration of the spiritual and the pragmatic. But when the spiritual is stripped of its mystic nature and individuality, that’s when dogma becomes a real contender. Because it’s like the focus becomes to avoid slip-ups which leads to stagnation and fear. No matter how we try, we’ll always slip up because we’re innately ignorant. It’s how we learn and in fact, we’ve been given license to slip up so that we don’t let that be an obstacle. Instead we’re told to focus on restoration and authentic reformation (inaabah).

When we don’t interact with ourselves, we can’t relate to others too. And therein lies the problem that is so ubiquitous in the Muslim communities, that once someone becomes religious they effectively become elitist and interact with people like an authoritarian school master.

I think knowing the deen is the easy part. To try to implement the principles oneself while interacting harmoniously with others is the real crux..

أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِمَنْ يَحْرُمُ عَلَى النَّارِ أَوْ بِمَنْ تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِ النَّارُ عَلَى كُلِّ قَرِيبٍ هَيِّنٍ سَهْلٍ

Shall I not tell you for whom the Hellfire is forbidden? It is every person accessible, polite, and mild.

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi, graded Hasan

Slavery 2.0

You can’t outmanoeuvre how you feel. That shit is real and you owe yourself the decency to acknowledge why certain things are difficult. Your anxiety or depression aren’t isolated and compartmentalized. It will have an effect on how you do things and how you cope. Instead of insisting on a plan or goals that force you to adapt, have compassion for yourself and realize that you won’t be going anywhere by leaving parts of you behind. Just like when you have the stomach flu or a migraine all of you are down and it affects what you were planning on doing (even though technically the rest of your body is healthy), so should the state of your inner being be to you.

This society is programmed to split a person from their emotions to make them into automatons that are easily manipulated and hijacked. That’s what you’re setting yourself up for when you’re prioritizing external outlines over how you are feeling or what you desire. When you go along with something that requires you to suppress or brutalize yourself, is the goal really worth it? When people talk about selling their souls they imagine some dungeon and a horned devil. But no. It happens in gradual ways where you muffle the agonizing screams of your soul because it’s inconvenient. Hell is the sum of the choices you made against your conscience.

In the world we’re a part of today, being connected with the soul is the Noah’s ark. It may seem overwhelmingly nefarious and evil to even contemplate how to get out of this, but guess what? You never were meant to figure out this on your own or hatch an escape plan. The only way out is through transcendence and that can only be facilitated by the creator of your soul. But you have to green light this by being receptive to your inner knowing, to letting go of what dishonours you, to uphold integrity and honesty in your soul, to love unconditionally, to be empathetic.

How you respond to hateful or grim circumstances hold far more power than you’ll ever know. Forget revenge and being vindicated : when someone or something fails to make you go against what you wish or your character, your light has triumphed. And as long as you hold on to that light, it doesn’t matter how dark the world gets. A candle light is more powerful than all the darkness because darkness is empty and lacks divine essence. Evil is darkness because because it renegaded from the divine light. And it’ll have you believe that it’s more powerful and encompassing than it is. It’s only power is illusion. If it had any substance, it’d fulfill the threats without dropping trailers in your mind. That’s why we fear the dark so much. We project our active imagination on what may await in the dark corners.

When you lose track of yourself, your pure awareness, how you feel etc, your focus inevitably gets drawn in by the suggestions of a fearful imagination. When you’re not grounded and present, it’s very easy for you to get stuck in your reptilian brain where your amygdala shuts down and hijacks the logical part of your brain (neocortex) and you become hypervigilant. But that hypervigilance is like being a deer in headlights. It’s a constant scanning of evidences of your worst fears. And that’s how most of us go through this life. That’s why distractions and escapism is so enticing ; it’s like we’ve given up on the existence of a reality where we don’t have to survive by dissociating and distracting ourselves. It’s like we’ve settled for coffee breaks during our torture sessions.

What I’m tryna say is… you’re like someone in a fortified house. Robbers come to your front door and threaten you with the worst depravity and torture if you don’t open up. They tell you that they are giving you a chance before they break in, which they claim they’ll easily do, to open up and spare you and your family unfathomable terrors. Because you’ve forgotten how secure your house is and the weapons you have to defend yourself with, your amygdala hijacks your brain and you give the robbers empty threat life because of your own fears. And you open the door to prevent the worst case scenario from happening. Makes no sense yes? But that’s how most of us be living and if Jung has taught me anything it’s to look for archetypes and the collective unconscious that is being played out.

AI are a representation of our disconnection from our humanity and our collective dissociation. And that’s way worse than any AI. We project our own fears on harmless robots, thereby animating them with powers they wouldn’t have otherwise.

Don’t let your emotions be replaced by algorithms and don’t your soul be hijacked by programs based on your predictable reactions.


Figure out your guiding principles, which basically are the whys behind what you do or choose. If your guiding principles are extrinsically motivated ( because of others, future gains, keeping peace, etc) you’re in deep shit. The system has enslaved people like you and you don’t even know it. You think you’re choosing but it’s a multiple choice test and you’re picking from the limited range you’ve been offered. Beggars are not choosers.

If you put up any resistance they only have to remind you that they can pull the plug on “your” guiding principles (really theirs) and that’ll have you back in line in no time, because where will you go if they pull the rug from underneath you?The only thing worse than mental slavery is an existential crisis with no quick way out.

Before the snow gets washed away

As long as we are determined
to move at our swift, logical pace,
our child remains hidden.
The soul-bird put away in a dark box in childhood
needs time, needs silence
to learn to trust again.

If you see yourself
as no one worth looking at;
if you believe you are
not worth listening to;
if your parents didn’t find
you worth looking at,
worth listening to;
if they told you,
That’s not what you saw,
not what you heard,
not what you think,
you cannot trust yourself,
you are lost.

Don’t look to others to find you,
to love and take care of you now.
You’ll suck them dry.
No one out there is responsible.
Go back and find your soul.

Until the divine parents arrive.
In his eighties, he was my analyst.
I had been in England, seeing him for six months, and was still trying to be efficient.
On Christmas Eve I learned my dog,
who was in Canada, had been killed.
I decided not to waste my evening session talking about my dog.
I arrived as organized as usual.
At the end, he sat quietly, then asked me what was wrong.

Nothing, I said, as I put on my coat.

You have not been here, he said.

I told him my dog was dead.

He wept. Wept over my dog.

Asked me how I could waste Christmas Eve chattering when my soul animal had just died.

Suddenly his weeping made me feel
what I was doing to my soul.
We wept together.
That’s when my analysis began

Loss of soul connection,
loss of connection to our femininity,
may be the real cause of our anguish.
If we have no bridge to the depths that drive us,
our rational attempts to correct our situation are merely Band-aids.

Shame was put upon you.
It is not yours.
Your soul need not be limited by shame.
Our souls cry out from underneath the rubble of our lives, like children who have not known love,
children begging us to say,

You are not alone.
I love you.
In living the abandoned child within herself the woman becomes pregnant with herself.
When we identify with our childish side

we say,
I was always a victim.
I will always be a victim
and it’s all my parents’ fault,
then walk around with a hangdog face the rest of our lives.

When we gather our child into our arms, we say,

My parents were victims of a culture,
as were their parents and their parents.
I shall not be a victim.
I shall take responsibility for my own life.
I shall live creatively.
I shall live now.
The soul may go into hiding,
but it does not die.

The soul is,
present tense,

Dancing in the flames.
Sooner or later we find her.
In dreams, she appears, that child,

(never at the beginning,
never at the beginning—
we would go crazy with grief).

She is starving in a pile of garbage,
in a basement under the basement.
Somebody tried to kill her.
Frightened, she ran downstairs.
She may even accuse you.
She is the age she was when she fled.
And she must be fed.
One hour a day, let her play,
let her sing, let her dance,
let her be with her dreams.
Feed her
She will grow strong and beautiful.

– Marion Woodman, Coming Home To Myself : reflections for nurturing a woman’s body and soul

No more posts.