Midnight wishes

I don’t want to be motivated by fear anymore. Seeking inspiration in what’s rooted in fear and lack is like inhaling smoke whose flames singe your nose hairs and the soot coats the inside of your throat.

Emotions are meant to protect me. Yet I spent most of my life protecting the circumstances that caused me deep pain because it felt easier to disregard what I was feeling. Alas, that only fed momentum to what was strangling me until my capacity for dissociation was dwarfed by how intrusive and invasive the circumstances became.

A lifelong pass

When I demand nothing of you you’ll feel compelled to give me your everything – vulnerability. The volume of your spirit, not the shape of your vision. That’s what I’m making room for. Come as you are, if you find yourself inspired.

I can’t not be me

There’s nothing anyone can do to reward me for being what Allaah created me to be. Let your thanks go to Him, and just keep it a buck with me.

Safekeeping

My heart opens at random and I scramble to save the stream of consciousness in posts. They are like fossils of my soul, footprints, silhouettes that give me deeper understanding of myself. I write to forge links on the chain of the anchor that keeps me steady. Paradoxically, it also keeps me from drowning.

What overflows into depths

God tells me to let go of what obstructs me, to not seek communion with what confounds me. Obstacles are stale aspects, outdated perspectives, overcrusted with heartless forms. Loosening my grip, my intentions return to me in new shapes.

a little something for the road

To think that there’s an entire cosmos left unexplored because no roads made of words and concepts can get there, is at once inspiring and tragic. How much am I crowding out because I’m stuck in my endless loop of familiar ruminations? How many portals to other dimensions have passed me by because I was so lost in inane thoughts, going through the motions, on autopilot?

Potential is unlimited because it hasn’t been casted in the form of thought yet. It’s hovering there, in clouds of emotions, on the edge of your core where you never turn your gaze. Just waiting until it returns to the Lord unspent, unvisited, unseen.

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