To hell in a handbasket

People online who have any proficiency in any area are smitten with the world mirroring back to them their own reflection. They’re obsessed with their own ideas, opinions, or looks and have very little, if any, room for understanding the world and people around them. They’ll only respect you if you’re more recognized than they are. Not based on any substance or god forbid a genuine connection, but what their peers think of you.

It’s becoming obnoxious.

Don’t pimp me out

Arab and Persian women are the white women of Muslims.

Hear me out.

Growing up, I was shouldered with the perception of Muslims shaped by Arab/Persian women who came from abusive backgrounds and the only way to have a voice and a platform that people actually heeded was to follow the script of Islaam endorses honour killings and normalizes double standards in regards to boys and girls growing up. I’d be lambasted from media, books, movies, what have you where the only available narrative of Islaam and Muslim women were that of Arab women who instead of calling out their culture, just threw the entire religion under the bus wholesale.

It became so ingrained in me that I distinctly remember that whenever I’d walk with my dad I wouldn’t walk behind him because I was afraid that’d be inferred to be some religious injunction to be a second class citizen. Nor would I walk beside him because I was afraid that people would think I’m a child bride. I was 12!!!!

I didn’t know why I had this overlay put on my experience when it was such a foreign concept to me. And I didn’t understand why I was assumed guilty until proven innocent. But I was. It wasn’t until I grew older that I started understanding the subtext of these women’s testimonials but also the propaganda that was pushing these narratives. It sure wasn’t out of empathy with the victims.

And now, it’s become a get rich quick scheme. The latest being the Saudi teen who was taken in by Canada because she was an atheist fearing for her life. Never have I come across an Arab or Persian woman who is a victim of her culture calling out her culture. Never. It’s a cognitive dissonance because if she can somehow find an external motive for the toxicity in the men in her life then she doesn’t have to discard them. She can just say they’re like that because Islaam made them. Finding such shortcuts has devastating repercussions because instead of containing the toxic, you’re letting it seep out and affect those who have nothing to do with it.

African and African-descent Muslims are usually on the receiving end of the culture struggles of Muslims on the Asian continent as a whole. It’s not healing if you’re not being honest. It’s not healing if you’re using your trauma as a come-up. It’s not healing if you’re not considering the consequences of creating narratives that don’t trigger you. It’s not healing if you’re burying the triggers like landmines for others to step on.

I’ve never before put it together consciously like this but I’m just realizing how hurt and resentful I am. How hurt I am that there are women who’ve known pain but seem so oblivious to what they’re doing to reinforce it in others. Women who hold TED talks entitled What We Don’t Know About Europe’s Muslim Kids and then go on to say

The thing is that most people don’t understand is that there are so many of us growing up in Europe who are not free to be ourselves. Who are not allowed to be who we are. We are not free to marry, or to be in a relationship with people that we choose. We can’t even pick our own career. This is the norm in the Muslim heartlands of Europe. Even in the free societies in the world, we’re not free. Our lives, our dreams, our future doesn’t belong to us, it belong to our parents and their community

Are disingenuous crooks that take the bait that white neo imperialists put out for them under the guise of saving them. Feminist missionaries. The epitome of toxic femininity is embodied in these women and I’m sick of it.

Leave me tf be.

Time as a medium instead of a commodity: a concept

Africa is the magnetic center of this planet, much like the heart and the moon. Even time is different – it’s polychronic. They don’t have the delineations we have here – it’s like weekdays, weekends, holidays, work and home is all in a quantum field of fluidity. That also means there are weaker boundaries (overfamiliarity, codependency). In ways, the Western colonizers were the narcissistic prince charming that swept us off the ground with love bombing and making us see our potential for the first time ever…

You mean we can use the resources and not be in need of the community?

Sa-weeet!

Oh no baby what is you doooin…

This work isn’t in the books or for the books

The no.1 thing Africa needs isn’t resources, isn’t education, isn’t political structure, isn’t infrastructure. It’s clarity.

We need clarity to be able to see what’s ours and not doubt it. We need to be able to see beyond the webs of deception that have been woven around and around and made us collapse in shameful defeat. We need to see that it’s not our task to remove the webs nor is it our task to make the recovery look good. We need the clarity to disconnect from the worst timeline of exasperation that opened us up for exploitation.

And understand that the abundance on the planet hinges on us clearing the energetic grids. The strongholds of the West which represents an overactive mind has its roots in our relinquishing what we know simply because it’s not as concrete or intellectual to be validated by the West. This isn’t about white v black. It never was. That’s just another idiotic delineation by a limited mind wanting to seek safety. It was always about the higher good which is the universal good. And we have those who oppose it amongst our kinfolk just as there are those who oppose it in the West. As long as we don’t realize the true baseline and the original crack, we’ll just be scrambling to divide what’s left into more precise pieces.

The powerful thing is, there is a timeline of abundance and holism active in Africa, much like Wakanda. It’s something we access, not create. And we can only access that by letting go of what seems so inevitable simply because it’s been around for so long. We can’t fathom the continent without violence and corruption because we’ve disconnected from the vibrancy that is the heart of this planet. We’ve forgotten our bearings completely and that is the sin we need to be redeemed of.

Champion your soul

I don’t want men to need my validation or retreat out of fear that I won’t receive him the way he wants. Fuck going y’all own way, and stay. Stay in your truth and don’t abandon yourself just because someone doesn’t understand or mirror you back the way you wanted to. Fuck them. Guard your truth so I can know you’re for real. Stand by your heart in the pouring rain so that I can know you for real. So that I can know you, the real you. Don’t wait for me to give you permission. Don’t put that burden on me. Don’t give us women that big a power that what we say or don’t say will be cause for you to go your own way or take your own life. We’re just as messy and toxic, albeit in covert ways, as you. We’re no paragons of model humans.

Choose your wholeness over any woman demanding you break up your peace to go to war for her. I don’t care if it’s your own mother or wife – some things are so sacred that even God Himself has forbidden Himself from meddling in.

Don’t get caught up young blood

I realize that women contribute to this in a major way by way of the Cinderella/damsel in distress conditioning we are subjected to where we expect a man to save us from danger and fear. So when men show vulnerability – nonresistance to fear – it pushes us back into a conflict because we realize there’s no one to save us. And it may feel easier to beat the insecurity out of the man so that he can be a rock and protect us and provide certainty for us.

Toxic femininity is the foundation for toxic masculinity and I don’t know when we’ll admit it. Mothers mould boys into being the men they become. And that requires more scrutiny and investigation than is afforded rn. I’m not saying mothers make boys become a certain way but by virtue of bringing some biases and expectations on to their psyche and having them ‘become the man of the household’ very early on, they set up a certain dynamic and dichotomy that leaves little wiggle room.

What men need isn’t validation or compliments. They need to be held to the truth and given the space to think out loud without expectations or script. And unless they do that, unless they talk about what’s hurting them about a situation instead of going into blame and fighting mode then that space is revoked. Positive reinforcement of their true selves. It ain’t about good or bad, but about being real and taking ownership of the consequences of that. It doesn’t matter if people think less of you. Masculinity isn’t a socially reinforced script, it’s something divinely created and it won’t come out until you meet yourself in truth. No one can take away what God created, but they can make it seem so by making you hide parts of yourself. And that’s on no one but you.

Hocus-pocus

All of societal convention and norm is based on 2 things : obedience and profit.

Obedience : To bridle and suppress your inner authority – emotions – so that you have no choice but to surrender to outer authority in order to escape existential chaos.

Profit : A return on investment on anything you’re given. That is, nothing is unconditional. This is used as bait-and-switch mindgame where you’re lured in by apparent incentives and then shackled by guilt and fear.

It’s an indenture to keep you trapped in the system of lack until you’re old, when most of your life force has been usurped by others.

This can be microcosmic ; parent-child relationship, student-teacher, etc. Or macrocosmic ; citizen-government, employee-employer.

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