Silent paragon

Slowly learning to accept that an overwhelming majority of activists and those speaking truth to power are still deeply traumatized and haven’t done self-work. I’m very sensitive to energy and I always scan someone’s energy before I do their words or work, and I’ve become increasingly disappointed in the world because I thought someone tending to the public in that capacity and awareness was obviously someone who had first done their healing.. but often they’re spurred into action because they’re confounded by their compounded trauma and it’s the only way they know how to get a hold on what’s going on within them.. by changing what’s triggering them in the external world. ( of course this serves a purpose to awaken people to what’s triggering, so it’s not like their work is inherently futile).

Not only is it an extremely dreary path to take because you’re consistently in resistance and conflict with what’s coming up for healing within you, but you’ll cause fragmentation everywhere you go as you’re contagious with the emotional violence still active in your psyche. Words become weapons that you use against those that trigger a survival reaction in you, and as a sensitive person your energy field is very porous. It’s impossible to go in the direction of thriving while simultaneously steeped in survival. Those are polar opposite trajectories ; thriving requires transcending survival and to move beyond deficiency needs to growth needs ( think Maslow’s hierarchy of needs).

The effectiveness of your work is rooted exclusively in the amount of self-work and healing you’ve done. Had you gone deeper you’d have discovered that you don’t necessarily need to seek the public to be effective, rather being grounded and integrating the light that comes through you, in whatever form or direction, is all that is needed. Like a lighthouse, being distant from the storm can be what’s the most helpful to those engulfed by the storm.

Reality is not on demand

Our free will is directly connected to perception and it is in our perception that our greatest power and sovereignty lies. Perception is how we interact with the cosmos, and all that changes is the angle and depth that we stand in relation to the divine reality.

What we’ve been convinced however is the inversion of that (inverting truths is a staple of mind control and the mental enslavement of diabolical entities); that our perception is reality and that we control how we feel about it. In other words, if we feel bad it’s our fault and we have to do everything in our power to change that – by any means necessary. This is extremely damaging and corrupting for several reasons :

  • It makes us self-absorbed, literally.
  • The foundation and baseline is shifted from Truth as guidance to Pleasure.
  • We’re made to focus on what’s impossible to control because emotions are autonomous responses to our perception of reality. That is, emotions are kind of like the axons in the nerves that transmit electrical pulses; they are the connection between our perpetual reality (phenomenon) and the divine reality (noumenon). As such, they aren’t wrong or right and just inform us of the state of our holistic well-being.
  • Our thoughts are made to seem divine by erasing the line between what is and how something appears to us. Our subjective field of experience is magnified, often intruding on others as we superimpose our perception on their reality. In other words, our perception becomes the Truth and any feelings that reflect anything incongruent with that will be fought and replaced with an activity that reinforce our beliefs. Our lives then gradually become echo chambers where we lose touch with the metaphysical world and the divine reality.
  • Instead of transcending the ego, the ego transcends us to overpower us. Mind becomes master.


Trying to function in a dysfunctional reality will force you to acquire dysfunctional coping mechanisms. You can’t thrive in an environment that not only obstructs emotional continuity and mental cohesion, but actively fights it because the sharp contrast between you and those trying to cling to the dysfunctional system would trigger cognitive dissonance. You’d be a threat.

Thought in process ✍️

Our primary language is vulnerability, to show our primary reality which is emotions. This is the case until we have a decent enough a grasp about the realities outside ourselves through verbal language in which space can be distorted through ego to identify ourselves with illusions or a grandiose fantasy.

When our verbal communication is disconnected from our primal self, we interpolate the unconscious energy in our bodies into the external reality ( object relations theory). This either dehumanizes others (through superimposing distortions on their reality as in projections, manipulation, passive aggression, gaslighting etc) or dehumanizes self (through displacing the self at the behest of external demands or requests, as in introjection, internalizing, identification etc).

Inner matrix

Abundance lies in the empty spaces that let you relax into them without fear of losing yourself. What worries me about the world is the oversaturation of everything that doesn’t let you pause to catch a breath. There’s no room for tripping, for slowing down. There’s no room for rest. There’s not the kind of trust that lets trees let go of their leaves and birds leave their nests for the winter. What’s the point in consuming summers if we don’t believe there’ll eventually be a spring? There will always be a spring. But who trusts in that long enough to rest?

Primordial records

Linear time is a manipulation of the divine reality and a superimposing of the ego on existence. As in, assuming things don’t have a purpose or function outside what we recognize in them. As in, a fragmentation of life to make it easier to cope. As in, a way of quelling our fear of death by giving ourselves to the illusion that as long as we have things under control, life won’t and can’t slip away.

As in, the very foundation of a lack mentality; what you lost or missed out on in the past you can regain in the future. Meanwhile, we’re the only ones racing with the sun and we still haven’t been able to beat it to sunset. Because everything in nature accepts decline and demise but us.

Beyond rhetoric

Not everyone is guided through explicit means. Some are guided through atheism. Others are guided through tragedies. And yet others are guided through opulence and privilege. All of the cosmos is imbued with signs and the goal isn’t to become well-versed in a specific language, but to be able to communicate and perceive the Truth..

سَنُرِيهِمْ آيَاتِنَا فِي الْآفَاقِ وَفِي أَنفُسِهِمْ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُ الْحَقُّ ۗ أَوَلَمْ يَكْفِ بِرَبِّكَ أَنَّهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ

We will show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth. But is it not sufficient concerning your Lord that He is, over all things, a Witness?


Allaah teaches through polarities, opposites, and duality.

It’s how Ibraaheem alayhissalaam discovered Allaah:

. وَكَذَٰلِكَ نُرِىٓ إِبْرَٰهِيمَ مَلَكُوتَ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ وَلِيَكُونَ مِنَ ٱلْمُوقِنِينَ

And thus did We show Abraham the realm of the heavens and the earth that he would be among the certain [in faith]

فَلَمَّا جَنَّ عَلَيْهِ ٱلَّيْلُ رَءَا كَوْكَبًا قَالَ هَٰذَا رَبِّى فَلَمَّآ أَفَلَ قَالَ لَآ أُحِبُّ ٱلْءَافِلِينَ

So when the night covered him [with darkness], he saw a star. He said, “This is my lord.” But when it set, he said, “I like not those that disappear.”


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