Insane idea..

But what if we’re meant to ‘download’ the soul’s perspective in this lifetime in order to create a recorded timeline in our hearts that prevails after death and the degree to which a person is ‘inspired’ by their soul is their rank in paradise and paradise is only accessible to those who lived beyond the mind in this life. And Hellfire is for those who exclusively or mostly lived a mind based and therefore soulless existence.

So they would carve out the very trajectory that leads straight to hell. And we catch a glimpse of how tyrannical and torturous the mind can be when we consider depression, suicide, bigotry, wars, etc. Where we either turn against ourselves or the other.

I read something in Ibn al-Qayyim’s al-Fawaaid years ago that stuck with me

حال العبد في القبر كحال القلب في الصدر، نعيماً وعذاباً، وسجناً وانطلاقاً.

The servant’s state in the grave is analogous to the state of the heart in the chest ; in terms of bliss v agony, and constraint v openness

Feeling is an essential indicator of the spirit

Charles Bukowski’s Introduction to the John Fante Novel Ask the Dust

I was a young man, starving and drinking and trying to be a writer. I did most of my reading at the downtown L.A. Public Library, and nothing that I read related to me or to the streets or to the people about me. It seemed as if everybody was playing word-tricks, that those who said almost nothing at all were considered excellent writers. Their writing was an admixture of subtlety, craft and form, and it was read and it was taught and it was ingested and it was passed on. It was comfortable contrivance, a very slick and careful Word-Culture. One had to go back to the pre-Revolution writers of Russia to find any gamble, any passion. There were exceptions but those exceptions were so few that reading them was quickly done, and you were left staring at rows and rows of exceedingly dull books. With centuries to look back on, with all their advantages, the moderns just weren’t very good.

I pulled book after book from the shelves. Why didn’t anybody say something? Why didn’t anybody scream out?

I tried other rooms in the library. The section on Religion was just a vast bog – to me. I got into Philosophy. I found a couple of bitter Germans who cheered me for a while, then that was over. I tried Mathematics but upper Math was just like Religion: it ran right off me. What I needed seemed to be absent everywhere.

I tried Geology and found it curious but, finally, non-sustaining.

I found some books on Surgery and I liked the books on Surgery: the words were new and the illustrations were wonderful. I particularly liked and memorized the operation of the mesocolon.

Then I dropped out of Surgery and I was back in the big room with the novelists and short story writers. (When I had enough cheap wine to drink I never went to the library. A library was a good place to be when you had nothing to drink or to eat, and the landlady was looking for you and for the back rent money. In the library at least you had the use of the toilet facilities.) I saw quite a number of other bums in there, most of them asleep on top of their books.

I kept on walking around the big room, pulling the books off the shelves, reading a few lines, a few pages, then putting them back.

Then one day I pulled a book down and opened it, and there it was. I stood for a moment, reading. Then like a man who had found gold in the city dump, I carried the book to a table. The lines rolled easily across the page, there was a flow. Each line had its own energy and was followed by another like it. The very substance of each line gave the page a form, a feeling of something carved into it. And here, at last, was a man who was not afraid of emotion. The humor and the pain were intermixed with a superb simplicity. The beginning of that book was a wild and enormous miracle to me.

source

It is that deep

Despite all attempts at denial and obfuscation there is an unconscious factor, a black sun, which is responsible for the surprisingly common phenomenon of masculine split-mindedness, when the right hand mustn’t know what the left is doing. This split in the masculine psyche and the regular darkening of the moon in woman together explain the remarkable fact that the woman is accused of all the darkness in a man, while he himself basks in the thought that he is a veritable fount of vitality and illumination for the females in his environment. Actually he would be better advised to shroud the brilliance of his mind in the profoundest doubt. It is not difficult for this type of mind (which besides other things is a great trickster like Mercurius) to admit a host of sins in the most convincing way, and even to combine it with a spurious feeling of ethical surperiority without in the least approximating to a genuine insight. This can never be achieved without the participation of feeling; but the intellect admits feeling only when it is convenient. The novilunium of woman is a source of countless disappointments for man which easily turns to bitterness, though they could equally well be a source of wisdom if they were understood. Naturally this is possible only if he is prepared to acknowledge his black sun, that is, his Shadow.

– C. G. Jung, Mysterium Coniunctionis

Finding God in the void

It is not uncommon to find people with very sensitive consciences and who seem to have a certain attraction, even aptitude, for the contemplative path, but who cannot come to terms with things that have happened in their past. Not only can they not accept divine forgiveness, they cannot forgive themselves. Consequently their self-esteem is too low to accept the fact that failure is part of the search for God. As Eckhart says of all the saints and sages down through history, “We rarely find people who achieve great things without first going astray.” But such wisdom is little comfort to these individuals. This preoccupation with sin can become a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder (in former times this was called scrupulosity), which increases the likelihood of sliding back into the same old problems. According to the author of The Cloud, if you are constantly obsessing on what you’ve done and frightened that it might happen again, it is more likely to happen again, than if you could simply come to terms with it and move on. In a similar context Meister Eckhart distinguishes two types of repentance. He says that there is a kind of repentance that “draws us downwards into yet greater suffering, plunging us into such distress that it is as if we were already in a state of despair. And so repentance can find no way out of suffering. Nothing comes of this.” Eckhart contrasts this kind of repentance with the repentance “which is of God” and says that it “brings spiritual joy that lifts the soul out of her suffering and distress and binds her to God.” It becomes a question of dealing with afflictive thoughts in the right way.

This was the key to Mary Magdalene’s success; she was able to break the cycle of obsessive thinking. How did she do this? He says “she hung her love and her longing desire on this cloud of unknowing.” By this he means she simply returned to her prayer word rather than to her obsessive thinking. In doing this she discovered perfect humility.

Martin Laird, Into the Silent Land: The Practice of Contemplation

The reality of trust

I can tell you that no one can actually hurt you. You aren’t afraid to trust people, you’re afraid to trust yourself. What I see when I look in you is that you are unwilling to meet your own pain, directly, and it shows as a belief that people are not trustworthy. What the reality is that the only one you need to trust is yourself.

When you are with people, if you trust yourself, then you will be with the pain of your own brokenness. So when someone hurts you – if you want to look at it in the orchestration of the whole Divine Play – when someone hurts you, that can only happen because you are not with your own brokenness. So in a way it’s like you are attracting the reflection into that brokenness over and over. So we have some identity there which says “Oh hurt again, oh hurt again, hurt again, hurt again, hurt again.” So you’re closing yourself in based on not meeting your own brokenness directly. Can you follow what I’m saying?

So, oh, (laughing) I thought I would have to speak for five, ten minutes before there was an agreement. I love you guys! Perfect! So let’s get straight to it then.

What there needs to happen is a willingness to let the love and power of your attention move to inside your own self. So inside your own self,what I see is a heart and it’s aching. I see a woman, I see a belly and it’s aching. So to be with that aching is honest. To be deeply feeling and being in that pain, that is honest. Instead, you shield yourself from Love, and in a way, it brings in this layer of dullness over you, protecting you from being touched in those places which you already know in you hurts.

So what you’re doing in that movement – I mean it’s basic self-protection, you know? But when you allow those shields of self-protection to fall, what you are facing is the fact of your own wholeness waiting to happen – the birth of yourself as Love, the birth of yourself into the wholeness of yourself as a woman.

So you see it holds different aspects in it, and one of them are that willingness to come into the deepest integrity of yourself, and to let that integrity be something that you move forward in the world with. You see if you don’t even want to rest in yourself you can’t touch the brokenness, so it can’t heal. If it can’t heal you can’t come into your deeper and deeper love for yourself as Woman, as Love, as Truth.

So everything waits for you to step into that deepest commitment to yourself, because without the deepest commitment to yourself you cannot truly commit deeply to any relation, to any communication, to any connection with anything around you, yes? So that’s waiting.

Source : Aisha Salem

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