Taqwa is not a dread of God, a hypervigilant fear of the unexpected things He may decide to do to you. It’s the fear of losing the wholeness and protective love you’re immersed in through His awareness because you crave it and need it to tolerate this worldly life. It’s the fear of falling from grace, of being shut out from that garden, not through being booted out, but through blocking out awareness, slipping into walking sleep.
Love makes you vulnerable because your heart is exposed and attached. But a taqwa that comes from a preemptive self-punishment because you think Allaah punishes by default unless you give Him a reason not to – that isn’t taqwa. It’s a rigidity that leads to hate eventually. It always does. Always.
إِنَّ الدِّينَ يُسْرٌ وَلَنْ يُشَادَّ الدِّينَ أَحَدٌ إِلَّا غَلَبَهُ فَسَدِّدُوا وَقَارِبُوا وَأَبْشِرُوا وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالْغَدْوَةِ وَالرَّوْحَةِ وَشَيْءٍ مِنْ الدُّلْجَةِ
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the religion is easy and no one burdens himself in religion but that it overwhelms him. Follow the right course, seek closeness to Allah, give glad tidings, and seek help for worship in the morning and evening and a part of the night.”
Ease. Closeness. Glad tidings. Seek help. Seek. Help.
The praxis of the deen may be summed up in those words. But that won’t sit right if we have healing to do, if our fitra has been tampered with and traumatized such that we are attuned to a hellish reality that makes the divine reality seem like a wistful fantasy.