Don’t pimp me out

Arab and Persian women are the white women of Muslims.

Hear me out.

Growing up, I was shouldered with the perception of Muslims shaped by Arab/Persian women who came from abusive backgrounds and the only way to have a voice and a platform that people actually heeded was to follow the script of Islaam endorses honour killings and normalizes double standards in regards to boys and girls growing up. I’d be lambasted from media, books, movies, what have you where the only available narrative of Islaam and Muslim women were that of Arab women who instead of calling out their culture, just threw the entire religion under the bus wholesale.

It became so ingrained in me that I distinctly remember that whenever I’d walk with my dad I wouldn’t walk behind him because I was afraid that’d be inferred to be some religious injunction to be a second class citizen. Nor would I walk beside him because I was afraid that people would think I’m a child bride. I was 12!!!!

I didn’t know why I had this overlay put on my experience when it was such a foreign concept to me. And I didn’t understand why I was assumed guilty until proven innocent. But I was. It wasn’t until I grew older that I started understanding the subtext of these women’s testimonials but also the propaganda that was pushing these narratives. It sure wasn’t out of empathy with the victims.

And now, it’s become a get rich quick scheme. The latest being the Saudi teen who was taken in by Canada because she was an atheist fearing for her life. Never have I come across an Arab or Persian woman who is a victim of her culture calling out her culture. Never. It’s a cognitive dissonance because if she can somehow find an external motive for the toxicity in the men in her life then she doesn’t have to discard them. She can just say they’re like that because Islaam made them. Finding such shortcuts has devastating repercussions because instead of containing the toxic, you’re letting it seep out and affect those who have nothing to do with it.

African and African-descent Muslims are usually on the receiving end of the culture struggles of Muslims on the Asian continent as a whole. It’s not healing if you’re not being honest. It’s not healing if you’re using your trauma as a come-up. It’s not healing if you’re not considering the consequences of creating narratives that don’t trigger you. It’s not healing if you’re burying the triggers like landmines for others to step on.

I’ve never before put it together consciously like this but I’m just realizing how hurt and resentful I am. How hurt I am that there are women who’ve known pain but seem so oblivious to what they’re doing to reinforce it in others. Women who hold TED talks entitled What We Don’t Know About Europe’s Muslim Kids and then go on to say

The thing is that most people don’t understand is that there are so many of us growing up in Europe who are not free to be ourselves. Who are not allowed to be who we are. We are not free to marry, or to be in a relationship with people that we choose. We can’t even pick our own career. This is the norm in the Muslim heartlands of Europe. Even in the free societies in the world, we’re not free. Our lives, our dreams, our future doesn’t belong to us, it belong to our parents and their community

Are disingenuous crooks that take the bait that white neo imperialists put out for them under the guise of saving them. Feminist missionaries. The epitome of toxic femininity is embodied in these women and I’m sick of it.

Leave me tf be.

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