I never clocked that seeing Allaah is a greater reward than jannah in itself. This came to me as I was pondering on my life and how I already have been given what I’ve been looking for in other places and I’d never be able to fathom or conceptualize it. I thought, the greatest rewards are truly the ones that you can’t even imagine because they’re only accessed through the process.
I’m not sure why, but ever since my birthday I’ve been contemplating death and the afterlife in a way that’s void of the interference of fear or doubt that’d make it impossible for me to even broach that subject previously. It’s like I’m making peace with my mortality and the fact that not only will I die – and what that truly entails- but so will my parents and grandmother. Even as I ask Allaah to keep them alive for many more healthy and abundant years, I know the inevitable will come. And I know that it won’t be easy. But I’m trying to see beyond it, into the grave and the great standing and truly ask Allaah for safety from the terror i feel by just imagining myself in those brief scenarios.