There is no sense to trauma or fear. It doesn’t follow a logical pattern. It operates in a ghost reality that you never can access through your mind or change through your mind. It’s implanted false memories that you know isn’t yours but it still hijacks your system. Trying to resist it or repress it or rack your brains to try to understand it will only make things flare up and in the end you’ll foot the bill of that. It’s a false programming that is meant to keep your focus fixed in a war you never can win.
The only way out is to empathize with how this is affecting you, disregarding your mind’s prompt to not rest until you get rid of chaos. You can’t. You’re drained, confused, tired, scared. That’s a lot on your emotions. Reestablishing how you feel allows you reprieve to stay present. The longer you can stay present the weaker the bond of that false programming gets. Eventually it just withers away and atrophies.