I hold so much brutality in my mind towards my heart. I have to hide underground until the war is over. But I wonder what would be left of me then? Is any structure better than none? How can I contest it when I need verbal structure to contest it? And if I don’t, the backlash and lashes to my back will continue like a run-on sentence. Or at least that’s what the voice in my head tells me each time I’m about to sit one out. Don’t you dare do it, this can be over quickly by you just doing what you’re told or this can be a full blown war that’ll never end.. Your choice.
Of course, it’s never a choice. Fear is never a choice, it’s forced. And I fall for it every time because a life sentence is worse to me than a death sentence.