You know, it’s often said that antidepressants are bandaid that don’t fix the problems and that you eventually have to face it head on. This gives some the impression that because the effects aren’t permanent, it’s ineffective and they may elect to go straight to the core.
It’s important that the intermediary space between shifting from the old paradigm where you’ve adapted to your core wounds, along with all the dysfunctional behavioural patterns and responses, and into the higher ground of thriving and adapting to an abundance matrix, be respected and allowed to run its course. Healing isn’t primarily about doing the right things as if you’re a computer that only needs to be encoded with the correct or desirable commands. It’s about going back in time to interact with the pain anchored and held in your body and letting it thaw and melt in your consciousness, without putting additional stress or expectations on yourself. It’s a process of non-doing, of active observation that is extremely vital but which can seem ineffective or useless. It’s often in this liminal stage where you need an open mind (divergence) and avoiding goals (convergent thinking) that antidepressants are extremely helpful and sometimes even lifesaving. This applies even more so if you’re recovering from complex ptsd or addiction.
It’s already difficult enough to stop dead in your tracks and go against the prevailing norm of just pushing forward no matter what, so shaming yourself for how you react during this process or the needs you may express can sabotage the entire process. You absolutely cannot strong-arm healing. You absolutely cannot fight to minimize the intense feelings that come up (you can however pace yourself in facing the emotions within the realms of what feels ok without pushing yourself over the edge).
People who are quick to dole out advice that point to secondary processes like exercising, detoxing, meditating in lieu of being present with the emotions without an agenda, are often those who haven’t gone to the core of their darkness and live a remedial life where they are constantly having to manage their symptoms and contain themselves because their coping tools are limited. And there’s nothing wrong with not being able to go all the way because it’s an absolutely brutal and reality annihilating experience that is extremely disruptive. However, one shouldn’t make the journey more difficult by unnecessary sidetracking and digressions that are little more than semantic banter and intellectualizing.
Don’t curtail people’s healing process because you absolutely want to help and rescue people but you’re unable to admit when someone’s case is way out of your depth. Just by acknowledging the depth and saying hey man, I can’t imagine what that is and it scares me but I believe in your ability to somehow find a way through this because you were called to walk through this specific valley, is far more empowering and helpful than telling the person what to do. But of course, that’d require you to take your ego out of the equation and your ego is the core reason why you cut your own journey short so I can’t see how you can help someone without triggering a chain reaction.
I’ve spent many years helping and coaching people, and not by design. Divine design yes, but I never set out to be an intuitive guide. But in all my years of walking some portion of this journey with hundreds of people, I know that I was the most helpful and effective when I could channel what they were going through without trying to divert their process by interjecting my intellect into it. Just by being with them in that scary uncertainty made the process less scary for them and pushed them to discover hidden treasures and resources that their minds would never have imagined. It had absolutely nothing to do with me. I was just a vessel for them to collect their internal fragmentations, and to just see the innate nature of healing in the human soul unfold and awaken is magnificent to witness. One moment can make more of a difference than a decade spent in the mind.
The best thing we can do for the world and others is to get out of others ways. Having faith in someone’s innate abilities even when they don’t see it can be a powerful support for them to start looking within.