I realize, society demands a deficiency in me. It demands the presence of a void, it encourages and whets the ego’s appetite so that it could feed it. When you’re not in need you’re made to feel like there’s obviously something wrong with you, that you’re missing out, that your life would be problem-free if you let society indulge you. That the presence of inner turmoil and conflict is a bad thing. That seeing things in a simple way is oversimplifying it. That you have to have every single bit of information and history to know the truth. That the truth is like a needle in a haystack.
So I started deforming myself. I assumed that the truth must be the opposite of what I felt and thought because I’m wrong and deficient by default.