We start out life with the wrong set of beliefs and values and when/if we awaken, it’s always in the middle of a mental maze that we have to find our way out of. So the journey isn’t a journey outwards, it’s not gaining something new. It’s regaining what was already created in you by retracing your steps in your flight from pain (consciousness;because the sensation of emotional or psychological pain is simply having what conflicts with your patterns, present in your awareness).
It’s tricky because this can mask itself as a belief that the falsehood has made you ‘not enough’, it has ruined you, that you’re in need of fixing. Be careful because this is the subtle ways the demons mislead you. They superimpose assumptions that lead you away from the truth, and you keep going because it’s something you think you’ve already understood!! When you feel that you’re fundamentally insufficient then all your focus and actions will go toward ‘fixing’ yourself and it’s an impossible loop because it’s not grounded in truth! You can’t do anything to fix yourself, just as you can’t do anything to create yourself. That part of you is inviolable. It’s a matter of reconnecting, that’s all. You need not do anything on the outside to do that. It’s like rebooting a computer ; you don’t need internet or softwares to do that! But imagine when your focus is manipulated to make you believe that you’re doing right by reading all about rebooting and all the softwares that make it so that you never have to reboot again, and all the while you’re going farther and farther away from getting around to rebooting yourself! Do you understand? Your brain can’t tell the difference. You end up believing you actually did the thing because you were so immersed in it. It’s a very sophisticated trick.
It also is a way to discourage you and deplete your energy so that the truth seems so cumbersome and convoluted. Your emotions are your black box. They record everything. So when you don’t know what went wrong, silence your mind and let your emotions arise spontaneously. You’d be so surprised to discover how sophisticated your psyche actually is! Seriously. It needs no input from you other than to stop resisting it with your thoughts and incessant intellectualization. Keep an eye on yourself, otherwise you’ll be compromised and hijacked while you’re made to believe that this is just how reality is, how life is supposed to be.
It’s not! If it were that way, it wouldn’t disturb our emotional baseline. We’d be made for the chaos and turbulence. But we’re not.