This video made me realize how deeply men hide. They hide behind tattoos, bodysculpting, gangs, violence, misleading words, humour, allegiances, prejudices, etc.
Women often demand that men be more transparent, communicate better, be more honest, vulnerable, etc. But I wonder how much of that is really genuine, and how much of it is rooted in a desire to not bear the burden of the thoughts that get triggered when faced with uncertainty? I’d surmise almost all of it is selfish.
Before you ask a man to show up as his true self, make sure you have the ability to create a space free of expectations, projections, your own fears and insecurities etc. Make sure it’s not a suit or a mould he’s stepping into. A role you want him to play so that you won’t have to deal with the thoughts that terrorize you in your solitude.
And take the time to differentiate and be honest with yourself about it. When we believe that others have what we’re deficient in, we place an unnecessary burden on them. A burden of entitlement and desperation. A desperation to flee the harsh atmosphere created by self-hating and self-erasing thoughts.