No healing can take place when disconnected or dissociated from the entry wound. It may take a long while before you’ll be able to return to the crime scene, the impact crater. It’s a time travel through pain, so don’t feel worried or ashamed if you’re unable to just yet. Focus on making contact with this moment before you think about your existential radius. Try to offload your mind because the more you press it to figure out what it’s not equipped to do, you create more fragmentation and trauma. The stillness of one moment reconnects you to your essence, and your essence is always connected to the divine.
The point is, the longer you can remain present without forcing, the more you’ll come together inside. Healing is about the process to make all of you return to your core after a trauma your mind wasn’t equipped for dispersed your presence and anchorage in your body. Your spirit was evacuated because your body was flooded with stress hormones which are like constant missiles flying overhead and never ending sirens.
You don’t have to fix or figure anything out to be ok again. You don’t have to trauma-proof the world to feel safe again. When you learn to feel safe in your body, you won’t have to rely on your mind keeping guard. You’ll be full of love and you’ll be able to withstand anything because of that strong inner presence. Nothing can budge that or destroy that. You’re still hopeful and aware, despite all the trauma and hopeless nights. That’s all the proof you need; you’ve survived this long without active healing. Imagine what devoting yourself to bringing all of you back to your body would do and mean?