Retracing my steps

Parts of me are too afraid to live. Parts of me are hiding in trenches as if in war, waiting for the death of my body so they can be released from this terrifying existence. I try my best to remain present by invoking the name of Allaah, but so much of me that has been repeatedly burnt fights me in my efforts to keep hope alive. That willingness alone makes my heart open and vulnerable to being retraumatized.

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