I’ve been wanting to make the world a better place since I was 11 or something, but as I’ve grown into my life and its destined experiences I’ve come to learn that I don’t know what will make the world a better place. I don’t know the long term implications of my ideas. There are so many variables that need to be taken into consideration for an optimal outcome which is basically one that’s balanced. So instead of focusing on creating ideas I’ve spent the last two years creating an inner space that is highly tolerant of uncertainty and the presence of polarities.
This has always then led me to transcend into someone capable of not only holding space for the complex global problems ( so-called wicked problems) but digest them to understand the root cause in a layman’s term. Because I’m not an academic nor have I studied any of the accomplished thinkers in history. I’m just someone who came into a messy world with a sensitive system and I discovered that keeping my head down and just focusing on surviving was worse than death to me. I have an image in my soul of how things could be, an imprint I carried with me into this life and it won’t let me rest until I see it through. It’s my cross to bear in this life and I simply don’t have a choice. The suffering I’ve endured is largely because of what I see and perceive and how it clashes fundamentally with how the world is set up today. So I guess the system has an inbuilt detection of anomalies like me and is built to destroy and eliminate me, much like how a body attacks and rejects a new organ.
And I accept that the trauma is the price I pay to gain access to the information I do, and I’ve always been given a chance to opt out. Before every major shift there’s this intuitive crossroads I come to where I’m given permission to not go further. And I always choose to because pain aside, healing and fixing things is what makes life worth living for me. Not accolades, not materialism, but the dynamism of bringing and grounding new energies and life on earth and seeing people whose pain I empathize with, finding relief. That’s my motivation.