It’s like climbing a mountain of molasses with a 100 kg backpack and having to hold my breath all at the same time.
It’s important that I share how the bottom feels and looks like. Important for those who are suffering who think it’s something unique to them and there’s no hope. But also important to those not suffering to see the true extent of suffering on this planet. It’s just that those who suffer hide it to fit in. It creates a false world where the pain and hurt isn’t known.
The only reason why I’ve waded through this for so long, the only reason why I’m choosing to live through this is because I know Allaah wouldn’t inflict this level of pain on me if it weren’t for a profound and important reason. When it burns, I look for the light. When something in me breaks, I look for what’s growing out. When I feel a sense of loss, I know it’s a sign that something is about to come in. I’m a seasoned wayfarer, a shaman. I’ve learnt the ancient practice of being tuned into the divine climate. I’ve learnt to read pain. And I hope that I get to share what I’ve learnt and healed with others. Because others pain is my own. Others healing is my own.