My mind can’t fathom deliverance. It’s exhausted itself searching high and low for it. When everything crumbles, when doubt eats away at everything I thought I knew there’s one thing I guard with my life; the certainty of You. That’s the only thing that gives me pause, that makes space for hope. I don’t know it now, but the knowledge of Your existence alone is a lighthouse that makes me feel like weathering this storm is worth it. There’s eventual meaning. These thoughts aren’t honest and I discovered they aren’t because they didn’t tell the truth about You. If they lied about You, then this grim reality that’s closing in on me is a lie too. An illusion. But only Your light can dispel the shadow of illusions. I can’t.