People remember, Ramadan wasn’t about our actions and our striving but it was a time of receiving from Allaah. Don’t discount His grace as if our actions could recreate the feeling of Ramadan. Nor was the point to do good deeds, but to reflect on the revelation of Truth and divine wisdom.
Going forward, make space for inner stillness to receive understanding from Allaah, something than no amount of striving can achieve. And remember that Allaah’s grace isn’t contingent on how good we are but on how much we value our hearts, especially when we’re confounded. The prophet sallAllaahu calayhi wasallam had the first divine contact in this month and it incapacitated him. He was asked to do something which he couldn’t and on top of that was meant to receive revelation?? How??! The one thing he couldn’t do he was being asked to do. But, the purpose wasn’t to make him read. It was to eradicate the notion that ability depends on one’s competence. His certainty was knocked off because that’s an impediment to transformation.
Now imagine if he’d miss the point by being preoccupied with figuring out how to read and comply with the apparent connotations of the demand and how he’d convey it to others and explain this encounter.. That was absolutely not the point!! The point was to open up his heart so that the light could get in and that’s what Ramadan is about : opening up the heart and if we focus primarily on actions we bypass the wisdom of the heart which arises from deep within.