Love can’t reach what isn’t. When you deny or repress your hurt, your fear, your need, your confusion, you’re denying or repressing Allaah’s Mercy that was readily available to you upon just being aware of the issue. Not feeling anything is often the best way we can survive. But beyond that, the only way we’ll feel love and be redeemed is through feeling what’s real within. Without resisting, without insisting, without blaming.
The beliefs that create narratives around why we feel what we feel may give us some control and therefore quell anxiety in the short run but in the long run it separates us from Allaah. It’s one thing to feel devastated, it’s another to create a belief about why you’re feeling devastated. We hate having to feel vulnerable in the uncertain. But Allaah’s Mercy and love and wisdom is never uncertain. You need to understand that. You really do. The shaytaan runs his kingdom in these places we avoid and repress. And it’s these places that threaten our connection to the divine and faith in the divine the most. It’s precisely in these places that dajjaal will get mostly everyone under his irresistible spell. He’ll appeal to places you thought didn’t exist anymore because you disowned them, but oh they do. Your shadow is the shaytaan’s mole.