I’m an existential mess. I study my neurosis and work on creating new neural pathways, severed by a lifetime of dissociation and trauma. I don’t know what I do, I still haven’t figured that part out. I just try to do whatever soothes my pain, even if for one hour. Somehow that leads me down rabbitholes and I find myself frantically writing down my downloads and observations before they are buried by the next wave.
I don’t know about intelligence. I’m just really clear on what I see and what I feel.