Don’t move towards someone you love unless your heart was moved. Don’t fill the gap with projections of your mind because you’re unsettled in the face of uncertainty. Let your essence be grounded in you and don’t expect affirmation or rejection from the other. They aren’t a screen you project your inner conflicts on, nor are they an arbitrator. In the end you want to discover if this person is able to create a connection with you based on meaning, and meaning is never something intellectual. It’s primordial, a cosmic metaphor. Indeed, sacred marriage has a deep meaning as it embodies divine signatures. And you can’t rush the emergence of that because it’s essentially a test from Allaah, a grace that trickles down, breathing into your union with His spirit (lit. inspire). It’s divine creativity weaving both of your hearts together into a transcendental third entity that is Your Marriage.
You don’t make that happen. You don’t create it. You ask that from Allaah and surrender to Him as He puts you through a process meant to test your heart if it’s the appropriate place for a love like that. Because Allaah never places His grace in a place that’s incompatible with it, i. e. resistant to it. And I’m not talking about focusing on just the tail of the process or the finished product but the root of the energy it grows from which is the unknown and unpredictable. Can you hold space for the polarities? Can you incubate the process with deep trust of the divine?