The only thing keeping me on this earth is the presence of truth. I don’t care for death, I’ve bungee jumped off that cliff one too many times and it just so happened that Allaah sent me back. I don’t care for rejection because that’s what I’ve known most of my life. I don’t care to be seen as a freak or insane because I’m sure that’s what many see me as, to varying degrees. I don’t care for pain because all of life is pain, and the only pain that bears fruit is that of consciousness. I don’t care for poverty, or illness, or chaos. Really, by now I’ve been through everything I thought I never could bear and each time I had to choose between the truth and comfort. So I deepened in my suffering for the sake of the truth. And Allaah has never let me down or left me to my own.
I’m in an existential freefall and the path is created from my disintegration and renunciation in each moment. I’m hollow, clueless, only hoping to receive guidance from Allaah. That’s all.