Seeking love from others through accessibility like looks, work, humour, etc., will inevitably create a corrupt form of love that then gives rise to shame, insecurity, low self-esteem, codependency, etc. This is because the entire premise is based on falsehood. Love can’t be sourced from others nor can it be given conditionally. The very existence of condition points to the presence of the ego and ulterior motives. That is, motives that aren’t holistic. These underlying issues are what causes the disorder.
Love is inherent and it’s based on the essences of things. That is, the very root of things that aren’t external. The seed and soul. To want to access it doesn’t mean it’s absent but that there’s something else present that blocks it. Anything essential and divinely sourced won’t mix with impurities and darkness. You have to clear the path to allow it to flow.
Some of these blocks are as I mentioned ; mental beliefs that love is earned, that love is based on doing, that one is loved to the degree that others can be impressed. These create internal splits and degrade the spirit further. No lasting love is gained in this manner.