Say wallaahi

What will happen to me is an unknown certainty. I might not know it, but it’s happening for sure and there’s nothing I can do, no path I can take, no way I can plea to get out of it. So, my one and only task in this world is to amplify the reality I resonate with in my heart even if the outside world doesn’t support it. My task is to be committed to my truth even if that leaves me open to every kind of threat, because what am I worth if my loyalty to Allaah is opportunistic? If it’s driven and defined by toe dipping to see if it’s too cold to jump in? No matter which way I go about it, I always return to the centre of my being and the same feelings, the same heart, the same voice is still waiting for me. I really tried to get rid of myself, I really did. That’s how I know that whatever I’m supposed to do is way bigger than me and I can’t let myself be blinded by what I don’t see. I don’t know what electing to live by what is strictly my truth will do to me, but even a worst case scenario isn’t reason enough to abandon doing Allaah’s work. He clearly set me here with an intention and put me through hardships and tests and made my life pan out in this way, so I’m covered by divine order when I stick to what’s true. And in this mercurial, chaotic climate of illusions, Lord knows I need to know what’s real. I need to live what’s real, regardless.

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