Homesick

People give parents too much credit for the most basic of shit. Like, keeping a child alive for a number of years is a feat? No wonder why people abuse kids. It’s ironic that as kids become adolescent physical punishments tend to cease or slow down at least. But young kids who don’t have strength to defend themselves and are the weakest of humans receive most of the uncalled beatings, just because they are loud or rowdy.

And still people would insist that all parents are divine. Mind you, the reverence and respect for parents is contingent on 2 things : love (rahma) and guidance (tarbiyyah). Children are the biggest amanah, trust, given to parents and all kinds of amaanah are taken very seriously in Islaam. You’ll be asked for the slightest of injustice and oppression you’ve done to your helpless kids- emotional and physical. If a woman entered Hellfire for starving a cat, what do you think of parents who systematically neglect, manipulate, mock, abuse, deceive, beat their children??

Parents are adults who made a choice to rear kids. But kids didn’t choose to be born. They are fragile and should be advocated for more than people harp on about parents. We get it, be dutiful and respectful. That’s an oversaturated topic because parents can remind you and rebuke you if you treat them badly, and they have the standing to do so. But what of a child? Who reminds parents of children’s rights? Who reminds parents to fear Allaah in transgressing the boundaries of the children entrusted to them? Who reminds parents that Allaah has denied Himself oppression, and He holds Himself to the boundaries, so who is anyone to feel above it? Who reminds parents that children are a gift from Allaah and a test to see if they are grateful, therefore they shouldn’t see kids as their property or something they are entitled to. That’s arrogance and dangerously resembles shirk in that one feels like they created and breathed life into this child.

It’s no secret, or perhaps it is, that many mothers abuse their power by manipulating and guilt-tripping their kids, seeing them as extensions of themselves. That’s abhorrent. That a mother meddles in her son’s marriage because she doesn’t like the wife, or that a mother uses her daughter as her narcissistic supply to live vicariously through.

Separate the wheat from the chaff. Parenthood is noble, not because you popped out a child, but because of the seriousness of rearing, loving and shaping a child’s life. And it should be just as criminal as it’s lauded when a parent fails their obligations.

Perhaps it does make sense to see a lost generation when the one before it didn’t rectify themselves, rather they insisted on being right and being obeyed unconditionally.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ بِالْقِسْطِ شُهَدَاءَ لِلَّهِ وَلَوْ عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَوِ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ إِن يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقِيرًا فَاللَّهُ أَوْلَىٰ بِهِمَا فَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا الْهَوَىٰ أَن تَعْدِلُوا وَإِن تَلْوُوا أَوْ تُعْرِضُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا

O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allaah, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allaah is a Better Protector to both (than you). So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you may avoid justice, and if you distort your witness or refuse to give it, verily, Allaah is Ever Well­ Acquainted with what you do.

(An-Nisa:135)

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