I used to think my sensitivity was ‘too much’ and I always did everything in my power to tone it down. I tried my best to amputate my emotions and when that obviously didn’t work, I loathed myself. I hated myself with such rapacity that I derived pleasure from sabotaging and inflicting emotional pain on myself. I’d put myself in situations that reflected how I felt about myself inside.
I beg of you: do not let pain warp the world for you. It tells you that this is how it is, that this is what you need to do if you don’t want to die alone, that no one would ever accept, much less love you for who you are
IT IS LYING!!!!!
The lies keeps it alive. It’s nestled in the cocoon of how your perception of reality was at the time of the wounds, which is most likely childhood to puberty. Would you rather stick to the script your younger, impressionable self wrote than to put enough stock in yourself and venture out into the world where you can bloom, where you can tower in your grandeur, where you are celebrated not for what you do for others but for the ethereal beauty carved into you by God?
let go. let go. let go of anything that makes you doubt yourself. there will be a brief interlude where you need to shift your inner beliefs before you see your outer reality change, but trust me : it’ll change. you will be loved as surely as birds come back in the spring and as surely as June comes around each year without fail.