That’s the thing about going over the edge, expecting to be crushed : your limitations get annihilated mid-air, and you land in a new dimension where things bend to your molding. What can flames do to me when I readily put my truth to the test? Answer : everything meant to harm me helps me get clear about what I am.
For that I’m ever grateful to Allaah, for not having left me in a pool of suffering. He taught me how He generates possibilities by the removal of insurmountable impasses I’ve experienced, and how He converts difficulties and suffering to the most valuable experiences.
I was stopped and destroyed by everything on this planet. Fought tooth and nail to keep my individualism and idealism – however starry-eyed it may be perceived – afloat and I died hundreds of times. I died when my attempts at recreating an image that wasn’t my truth kept failing. I died in my parents eyes when my smarts didn’t culminate in much. I died when everything I used to navigate this world dissipated, slowly but surely. I died until I realized that the parts of me that were dying were the parts preventing me from living, fully.
That’s where I get my unstoppable attitude from, because I draw my inspiration and strength from a place alien to this world, and that’s where I get my courage from. There’s something about facing death and existential destruction that makes fears inconsequential.
قَالَ أَفَتَعْبُدُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ مَا لَا يَنْفَعُكُمْ شَيْئًا وَلَا يَضُرُّكُمْ
Ibraahim said: “Do you then worship besides Allaah, things that can neither profit you, nor harm you?”
أُفٍّ لَكُمْ وَلِمَا تَعْبُدُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ
” Fie upon you, and upon that which you worship besides Allaah! Have you then no sense?”
قَالُوا حَرِّقُوهُ وَانْصُرُوا آَلِهَتَكُمْ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ فَاعِلِينَ
They said: “Burn him and help your aaliha (gods), if you will be doing.”
قُلْنَا يَا نَارُ كُونِي بَرْدًا وَسَلَامًا عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ
We (Allaah) said: “O fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibraahim !”
وَأَرَادُوا بِهِ كَيْدًا فَجَعَلْنَاهُمُ الْأَخْسَرِينَ
And they wanted to harm him, but We made them the worst losers.
وَنَجَّيْنَاهُ وَلُوطًا إِلَى الْأَرْضِ الَّتِي بَارَكْنَا فِيهَا لِلْعَالَمِينَ
And We rescued him and Lout to the land which We have blessed for the ‘Alameen (mankind and jinns).
وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُ إِسْحَاقَ وَيَعْقُوبَ نَافِلَةً وَكُلًّا جَعَلْنَا صَالِحِينَ
And We bestowed upon him Ishaaq , and (a grandson) Ya’qoob . Each one We made righteous.
وَجَعَلْنَاهُمْ أَئِمَّةً يَهْدُونَ بِأَمْرِنَا وَأَوْحَيْنَا إِلَيْهِمْ فِعْلَ الْخَيْرَاتِ وَإِقَامَ الصَّلَاةِ وَإِيتَاءَ الزَّكَاةِ وَكَانُوا لَنَا عَابِدِينَ
And We made them leaders, guiding (mankind) by Our Command, and We inspired in them the doing of good deeds, performing Salaat , and the giving of Zakaat and of Us (Alone) they were worshippers.