I don’t hate victim mentality because it’s a sign of weakness. No. I hate it because it’s a sign of self-betrayal. You’re abandoning yourself and throwing yourself under the bus, literally taking your power and placing it in the hands of others. Why? Because you feel that you are unable to handle your pain. You’ve resigned on life and now you’re demanding the pension you feel entitled to from the world!
Not only are you betraying yourself, but you’re doing others a great injustice. You’re burdening others with a responsibility that isn’t theirs, which is your emotions. Others can’t *make* you feel something. They can *do* something to you, but it’s ultimately your response and reaction to external stimuli that determines how you feel.
When you default on taking responsibility and care for yourself, you release that negativity into the world. Not only that, but because you’re so self-absorbed with how much you lack, you can’t connect with others nor can you give to the world what you’re here to give! You’re sucking the life out of life!
Now. People often conflate self-pity with self-compassion, because they are under the impression that you should treat yourself like an inmate. What’s the difference between the two?
Self-compassion is giving yourself the unconditional acceptance and validation of *everything* you feel, without holding back, without criticizing yourself for whatever emotions come. It’s to allow yourself to feel, from a place of empowerment, from a place of abundance and hope.
Self-pity comes from a place of lack, where you feel that everything happens to you, and that you’re inherently incapable. You then sulk over your perceived incapability and hopelessness of your life or situation.
The only way to truly know which is which is by establishing a connection with your intuition. Your intuition is your emotional thermometer. It tells you what’s going on inside your heart. And it’s like a muscle, so if your intuition has atrophied, don’t worry. It’ll grow stronger with repeated use.
Life isn’t conspiring against you! You’re just really committed to prove to yourself that you can’t do anything differently than you are or have been, because that’s easier than to face your fears and pain and go into the scary unknown.
Whilst you’re busy looking back at who hurt you, you’re missing out on those who’ll love you
Whilst you’re busy longing for what you don’t have, you’re missing out on what you do have
Whilst you’re busy harping on about everything that’s wrong, you’re failing to appreciate everything that’s right
Whilst you’re busy focusing on everything that you can’t do, you’re neglecting what you *can* do.
A victim mentality is a very ungrateful and entitled outlook on life.
You may not sign up for hardships and difficulties in life, but being a victim is entirely a volunteering gig.
نْ تَكْفُرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَنِيٌّ عَنْكُمْ وَلَا يَرْضَى لِعِبَادِهِ الْكُفْرَ وَإِنْ تَشْكُرُوا يَرْضَهُ لَكُمْ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَى ثُمَّ إِلَى رَبِّكُمْ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَيُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِمَا كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ إِنَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِذَاتِ الصُّدُورِ
“If you disbelieve, then verily, Allâh is not in need of you, (though)He likes not disbelief for His slaves. And if you are Grateful (by being believers), He is pleased therewith for you. No bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another. Then to your Lord is your return, so He will inform you what you used to do. Verily, He is the All-Knower of that which is in (people’s) breasts.”