London Diaries (VII)

London Diaries (VII)

-I unlocked a new level of assholery in me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m becoming more self-aware or more comfortable in my shittiness. Probably both 😁😁 { I’m sorry. Can’t help it}
-I discovered that I care for others way more than they do for me. And it’s not their – your- fault, at all. I’m very reserved, perhaps because I care so much. Protecting my sensitive self. But it does hurt a bit…
– I’ve officially out-Somali’d the most hard core Somalis 😎😎 It’s been a lifelong goal because I’ve always been ridiculed for my crappy Somali and half-cadaanimo. Hmpf!
-I reflected on how much I’ve overcome and my goodness am I one tough cookie!!
-I realized how much I love my friends ❀
– I don’t let people in. I let them have their belittling image of me. Allows me to read in peace
-I really don’t know why I was born a Somali but I suspect it was to be disruptive
-I realized how if the movie ‘Catch Me If You Can’ was descriptive of a people, it’d be Somalis, no doubt
-I went off my antidepressants cold turkey unwittingly and I didn’t think I’d survive. But nearly two weeks clean I think it’s safe to say HOOYO I MADE IT!!!!! :p
-I have a sharp tongue, soft heart, a passion for the truth and fearlessness. A deadly concoction.
-Every difficulty that comes my way is assuaged by the discovery of hidden lessons

Whilst in Northampton, I experienced my worst-case scenario: no internet. After trying everything short of hacking into the neighbours’ wifi, I asked myself what humans did before the advent of internet?These are some of the things I did

I went into my memory archives
Drew stuff
Walked in the rain (with ‘Grown woman’ by Beyonce playing)
Listened to music (mostly Somali)
Listened to surah al-Kahf like a gazillion times ( mo because it was the only full surah I had on my phone and I kept reflecting and reciting along. I’ve abandoned the Qur’aan.
I tried to look for life lessons in the torture I was in, which I found
I read a book I bought two years ago
I overcame my Internet obsession when I realized that I could spend my time going crazy, or just….find acceptance.

flower reddd vieww decembber pikachu gabarmanyo

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