London Diaries (II)

Originally posted Sept 27th

london diaries

I came here on a whim, for the sole purpose of meeting some of the wonderful people I got to know on Facebook. These people (and my folk in the US of A, I’m coming) helped me through a dark tunnel that I saw no point in leaving. I was a hermit for years because I did not want to be seen or heard. I didn’t think I had anything to offer society. I was deeply ashamed of myself. Even from a young age I’d wish to be invisible. I did not see ( and I still struggle tbh) the gifts and goodness some of y’all see in me – and I thank you for forcing me to see that.Unwittingly, you, my facebook familia ( y’all know who you are) brightened my days, and filled my (nightowling) nights with aha-moments. You guys really think too highly of me, because I’m such a childish goof who laughs every half an hour and gives the bestest hugs in tha world :p

Roda roda roda my darling, my twin soul. First time we met was in the airport when she was picking me up lol!! People find that shocking because they think what if the people I meet up with aren’t who they purport to be? I say, not only am I certain of these folks, but I trust them completely because I’m not putting my hopes in them but in the one who brought our hearts together from across seas – Allaah.

Roda and her 3 goobers took me in with such warmth and love that it felt that I had always been a part of their family. My cousins took me out on Eid day to the other side of London, so I had to sleep over at theirs. The day after Eid, Roda’s sister who was in ICU the previous day, passed away and I swear, it pains me that I couldn’t be there with her, giving her rib crushing hugs and the comfort of an understanding silence. It’s not much but it’s all I have. I’ll be back before too long in shaa Allaah.

I met with Idil Deeq who’s such a caring soul. She’s soft-spoken but very strong. I was treated like royalty !!! And she’s the first DIY Somali I’ve had the privilege of meeting! Guys, her house is something out of an IKEA catalogue! She’s changed her floors and repainted the ceiling all on her own! I think I’ll start using my Pinterest as more than just wishful thinking now! :p

People ask how I can take such risks into the unknown. I guess what they are wondering is what I’m getting out of this – is the opportunity cost worth it? But I’m not looking to get anything. No, really. I want to give all the love that’s stored within me. I want to spread love, support,laughter, and hope. I’m infinitely grateful to Allaah, and every single person who’s been kind towards me ( and patient in my tough days) because only I know how hopeless and miserable I felt. I want to give that experience to others. The more I give of that, the deeper my love grows. And it’s such an amazing feeling when your heart seeks naught from people, but everything from the One above.

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