Empower from within

For a long time the question of why women – or rather an overwhelming majority- seem to put themselves in passive and subordinate positions in regards men has had me boggled. But then it hit me…

There’s this powerful and universal message that girls are inundated with both directly and indirectly, which is; your place in this world is to receive. Receive praise,receive love,receive guidelines like this. Because you hold no power over what you receive, you must make yourself as pleasant and appealing as possible; this will ensure that you’d be noticed by the teachers, by the boys, and by the other girls. Your life is one big waiting room. You must wait to be picked by mr.right, you must wait to get pregnant in order to be considered a ‘real’ woman, you must wait to get recognized for your hard work.

This would explain why feminism and increased rights for women hasn’t changed much in the culture that is womanhood. If women have a subconscious self-sabotaging belief that’s been passed down for ages, who’d fight the good fight? Men? Really?

Which reminds me of the mental outlook I’ve come to adopt in the past couple of years; I don’t identify myself with any group. I just don’t. I’m not a ‘proud african’ or ‘fierce feminist’ or ‘nomad’ or ‘polyglot’ – whatever. I see myself as Mulki. That’s it. All these other stuff aren’t fundamental to my being. I define them, they don’t define me. So when women are urged to seek empowerment through this vague fluid concept called feminism, how exactly does it work? What extraordinary transformation does one undergo in ascribing themselves to a group that doesn’t occur at the individual realm?

4 responses to Empower from within

  1. There is a lot of nuances to this topic I believe. You mentioned that women are put in the subservient mindset, that they are subconsciously told to receive and wait and everything pertaining to the loss of power, but you’ve missed the opposite side of the coin, in that men are told from the outset to give and give yet never receive, they are told to give love and not expect it back, to give provisions and never expect it back, they are told that if they cry they are not men, and that vulnerability is weakness and will mean that women will not approve of them, they are forced to work long hours to please the woman, that they are worthless without any provisions, they must be strong in times of conflict, they must lead when no others can, they must at all cost risk their lives to let the women and children to live on, suicide for the family is seen as a heroic deed, that if they express their emotions they are not a man. Who said I want to have power over women or anyone, how do we know that men love to be in control, why are we treating men as if they are easy to read and simple minded while women and their issues are taken with such complexities that it becomes reinforced in the mind of a man that he is a supporter of the systematic subjugation of the womenfolk and that he should not be like that “asshole” guy who mistreated the woman, that he should be a knight in shining armour showing no complexities, just a timid post that weathers the storm and should not express any sort of emotions, but he can/will be the emotional cushion of the “emotional wife” (I don’t accept that for myself but I’m reiterating the longstanding belief among men and women)

    What I mean to say is that you have mentioned one side of the coin completely disregarded the other side. What I also mean is that I mentioned the other side not to disprove or say i’m right, but to highlight the fact we often miss many of the nuances that surrounds us, I know this because I know that men are not as vocal when it comes to this which makes it even more harder to have our voices mentioned amidst the ferocious calls of the feminists. Yes women are mistreated, and everything you mentioned, but the reason why there hasn’t been the necessary changes to their conditions is the same reason for why the condition for males hasn’t changed as well.

    I have no answers or solutions, mainly because I do not fully comprehend the question?

    What does it mean to be a human?


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