I’m going to California

christian schloe

Christian Schloe


I carry around disclaimers and placards with apologies written in my blood. I feel ashamed, I feel too much, I know too much. My inner voice keeps insisting that I unfold my wings, that I’m not a caterpillar anymore — but I can’t. I doubt butterflies exist out there, and all I can see around me is caterpillars and I don’t want to make them feel…threatened.

I doubt that these wings will carry me, anyway. I doubt that I’ll find another group in which I could belong .

I long for the day I learn to belong to myself. I long for the night I take a leap into the dark, not fearing the cold, hard ground below because I’d trust my wings to carry me above and beyond my fears.

4 responses to I’m going to California

  1. SpringAwakening.

    Let’s go together! I wish we could be real life friends, I am extremely similar to you, we probably look alike. I think you are incredible, a great spirit and it has been a huge blessing to watch your blossoming. You probably have no Idea what you are doing for so many being so open and honest and I pray Allah keep you, protect you and progress you beautiful sister.


    • Blues Fairy – Author

      Wow…I honestly don’t know what to say. I had no idea that readers like you existed. I’m so happy to know that my (scary) vulnerability has helped you. Souls find each other. I’m truly honoured! Amin, wa iyyaaki sis. ❤


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