I returned to Facebook two weeks ago. I first signed up in 2008, a time when there were 100 million active users, as opposed to the 1.2 billion users there are now. Something happened in 2009, because I noticed an explosion of users. It spread like wildfire. Although I tried to adapt, I quickly got overwhelmed and in 2010, I left it.
A HSPs Guide to the Internet?
I returned mainly to keep up with news and follow interesting pages. Prior to this, I had used my sister’s Facebook to check out the pages, but she eventually banned me from it . From the get-go, I felt uneasy and weird. But I tried to ignore it. I added friends, engaged in chats that fizzled out before too long, and I thought that perhaps I’ve been away for such a long time that I’ve become a real recluse. Perhaps I should push myself a little bit to ‘overcome’ this. Boy was I wrong. I’m an INFJ HSP with bipolar type II and synesthesia and low latent inhibition – those are a lot of words for: super sensitive. I have enough battles to fight and enough stimuli to overcome, and I sure do not need to add social media to my plate. I even had a dream the other night where I wanted to take a shower but couldn’t because dozens of people were
watching, no, glaring at me. This obviously signifies how I exposed I feel in real life.
I do this. I forget who I am, I forget my needs and I drown. That’s why I’m grateful for Elaine Aron and her extensive research on HSPs, because I know that this isn’t some ‘weakness’ or maladaptive; trait this is my strength. Because of my sensitivity to my environment, I’m highly empathic, creative, imaginative,intelligent,compassionate,intuitive. I dream regularly and often it’s stuff that come true or insight into people. But this sensitivity has its’ caveat in that I need extensive time to recharge and be in a serene environment away from toxic people. I’m on the verge of deleting my account because I can’t stand the constant pop-up of the red notification button or the chattering or feeling obliged to reply to everyone in a timely manner. I’m still on the fence ; what do you think?
Too Much Information
I noticed this information overload. I don’t know what to search for, where to search for it, or how. What’s more is that talks like that of Eli Parisier makes me feel claustrophobic online. I feel like I’m locked in networks that I didn’t ask for, simply based on what I search for online. I feel like this is Divergent, the movie, where you must choose what to adhere to and then be tossed into the heap you chose. I don’t want to choose anything. I want to cross the networks to discover, to learn. I use Zenmate which is a VPN that encrypts and tunnels my web activity through any of the five locations that I can choose from. This has helped me a bit in throwing off track the internet sniffer dogs. At any rate, if you feel stuck in this maze and want more autonomy over what you see, then I got some awesome book suggestions.