“Intimacy requires vulnerability. Being vulnerable does not require that you share every feeling of insecurity you have with another person, or with anyone. It requires that feel your every experiences of insecurity. If you cannot feel your own insecurities, you will not be able to see them in others, much less appreciate them in others.Intimacy creates sensitivity. When you are intimate you become sensitive to yourself and also to other people. When you are not intimate, you are sensitive only to yourself, and even then you are not aware of everything that you are feeling.
Intimacy is natural for us. We long to experience intimacy, and we are designed to be intimate—caring, sensitive, and loving toward one another. When you are intimate, you are fulfilled. Every encounter is satisfying, or pregnant with potential for deeper insight and spiritual growth. When you are not caring, sensitive, or loving—when intimacy is lacking—nothing fulfills. Every interaction is cold, and sometimes cruel. Vulnerability is dangerous. This is a very painful experience. You feel isolated and alone. You cannot reach others and they cannot reach you. You strive to accomplish activities and achieve goals rather than create relationships. The only relationships you seek are functional—those that help you obtain what you desire.”