My blog is the life that is pumped by my heart, gushing through my veins, inhaled by my lungs, scrutinized by my brain. At times I wish I had no followers or readers, that I could have my own universe before my eyes. I never know what my next sentence will be. My heart compels me when it does, often in the oddest of hours, and I try to find the words to map onto its’ whispers. I enter some sort of trance as I try to quiet my mind in order to hear those whispers. I need it out because once it’s out, chances are I won’t remember it again and that would require the life lesson to repeated all over again, something I’m not amused by. There’s nothing more satisfying than reading past posts on still, sleepless nights. The anticipation that run through my fingers as I fumble for my phone under my pillow and feeling its solid shape under my grasp, is something that oddly calms me. Like talking to an old friend whose intense silence and unrelenting glance is all the validation you need; reading back on my experiences floods my whole being with peaceful feelings and memories. As I read in between the lines, the struggle which provided the context for the piece plays back along with the aha-moments and the long line of milestones parade in front of my eyes. It serves as a token, a souvenir to remember that point in my journey.
I’ve had many journeys with countless milestones and each ended when I learnt all that I needed. This blog commenced a journey that I will be on a while longer and I can already see the ending anticipating me on the horizons, where new ships await me. I’m endlessly grateful for all that I’ve learnt in my relatively short life ; to be able to write about it, to wrangle the control out of fear’s grip and bury it in words, is the single most rewarding thing in life for me.