In my almost one year of blogging, I’ve had one constant issue I’ve struggled with; to adhere to my original intention of writing for and to myself and not to write to make a name for myself. I want to be fully authentic and honest; I don’t want to cover my flaws or seek to bask in temporary fame. I want to write because I just have to, or else I’ll go mad. I’ve written since I could write whole sentences, and I do it to channel my intense emotions and mental energy. However, it’s been so darn difficult to stay focused for a longer period of time! I’ll do maybe a 3-4 ‘authentic’ blogging streak, and hey presto! I catch myself hunger after stats and stars, and becoming disappointed if people don’t flock to my posts in throngs! OK, I’m exaggerating a wee bit 😛 . I wrote about it in Flawful and Letters to a Young Blogger.
Anyway, I read an article in Psychology Today and a paragraph in particular struck me like lightning!
Purpose isn’t focused on and measured by outcome — becoming the CEO, publishing the Great American Novel, having the house you always dreamed of. This is a slippery slope because the outcomes are impossible to control. Living your life of purpose is instead about making your outer life match your inner self and vision. Purpose becomes the engine that moves you day by day. It shapes how you run your life and what you focus upon. ¹
I suddenly realized how to keep myself on track with writing with intrinsic motivation; by focusing on expressing myself and channelling my emotions and realizing that the outcome that manages to sway me from time to time, is something I don’t have any control over. I can only give, and I will attract what and who I am. I guess you could say this about life in general. It’s about the ability to give and what you deserve will come to you without your bidding. You cannot force love to come to you, you can only focus on having a loving and open heart. I will not force readers( comments,likes,subscribers etc.) to come to me, I will only write for myself, and write hard and long about that which pains and stirs me. And that alone – that I thought, I wrote, I published – is what my heart seeks, regardless of external validation. ❤
¹ Taibbi, Robert, L.C.S.W. “Discovering the Purpose of Your Life: 4 Exercises.” Discovering the Purpose of Your Life: 4 Exercises. Psychology Today, 19 Apr. 2014. Web.